'KUWTK': Your Favorite North West Parody Recaps Kanye's First Interview with Kim
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Kardashians: The Next Jenneration

DadYe made his first interview appearance alongside Mommy. Last season's ratings were low, so we're pulling out the big guns for Season 16.

The woman behind Nori's Black Book -- a viral parody Instagram account written entirely in the voice of Kim Kardashian's sassy 5-year-old daughter -- is bringing her talents to TooFab.

Each week, "Nori" will be recapping new episodes of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and giving us HER take on all the family drama.

(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)

The Season 16 premiere of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" started with DadYe and Mommy doing an interview. DadYe is rarely on the show and never does interviews, so this is a big deal. Last season's ratings were low, so we're pulling out the big guns for Season 16. I'm in a lot of scenes this episode to help give the ratings a boost as well. We'll see if it works.

At a family dinner, we learned that Kris bought a family vacation home in Palm Springs. I always wondered what she did with the 10 percent she's made off us. Good to know that not all of her money is going to Fashion Nova and Botox.

At the same dinner, DadYe and Mommy announced that they're having a baby boy via surrogate. We are clearly over Saint, and we are excited about re-casting him -- at least that's what I've been telling him to get him to step his game up. A healthy amount of competition is good for work ethic.

Later, Auntie Kourtney, Kris, and Auntie Khloe went to lunch. Kourtney talked about her breakup with Younes. The breakup has been really rough on her, so much so that she's been crying and having a lot of anxiety. But she also cries and has a lot of anxiety when she has to work for more than three hours a day, so I can't take her seriously.

Mommy and I traveled to Chicago to visit DadYe. Mommy thought it would be good for me to see his office, projects he's working on and to visit his childhood home. These people are really trying to convince me that DadYe is busy, and yet here we sit with no album and an abandoned theater. I'm tired of carrying this family.

While in Chicago, the Rhymefest drama came up. Mommy didn't appreciate that Rhymefest used DadYe's mom to diss him on Twitter, so she clapped back with tweets of her own. DadYe claimed that his assistant was rude to him and that's why Rhymefest started to attack him, but Mommy wasn't buying it and insisted that she still had beef. DadYe was ready to let it go because he is a spiritual person, but Mommy is not so forgiving. If only she had this same energy when I told her I will never forgive Saint for being born.

Eventually, DadYe and Mommy met with Rhymefest in Chicago to squash their beef. Rhymefest let them know he was not upset about money, but instead about the fact that he felt like DadYe had turned his back on the village -- thus, the flurry of tweets. Rhymefest said he wished he would've handled it better. Mommy also said she wished she would've put down her Twitter fingers and talked out her issues with him. To be honest, the conversation was hard to follow, and I'm not sure what actually happened, but I guess it's all good. We got love.

Later, Auntie Kourtney proposed a girls weekend in Palm Springs at the new family vacation house to help her get over Younes. Kourtney scraped together Auntie Khloe, Auntie Kendall, everyone's favorite "why are you here girl," Larsa, the Malikas, and a bunch of non-famous friends together for a weekend of mooching off of Kris Jenner. In Palm Springs, Auntie Kourt was still talking about her breakup with Younes. Auntie Khloe wanted to show her that it's okay to be single and have fun. (Ironically, the girls took Auntie Khloe back to this same house after Tristan hooked up with Jordyn.) The family vacation home has turned into the "get over a breakup" home. I look forward to seeing how Kendall will use the house after she breaks up with Ben Simmons. By the end of the trip, Kourtney felt better and she decided to embrace being single.

Back in Calabasas, Scott and MJ were spending some quality time together. Everyone in the family was busy working, so Scott was the only one available. Also, hanging out with MJ helps Scott pass the time while Sofia is in school.

In Chicago, Mommy, DadYe and I visited a theater DadYe plans to renovate. Years ago, DadYe once opened up for Uncle Jay-Z at this exact theater. Fast-forward to today, we can't even get a text back. Life has come full circle.

Next, we visited DadYe's childhood home. It was special to see DadYe's humble beginnings. To think of him as a young boy with no assistant, housekeepers or chauffeurs is incredible. How does one get anything done?

Back in Calabasas, MJ and Scott invited Kris to high tea under the condition that no phones are allowed. Scott helped Kris understand that MJ needs more of her time and undivided attention. MJ also expressed that she feels that Kris is more interested in her phone and meetings than she is in spending time with her. Kris apologized and made a promise to do better. I don't see Kris changing because unfortunately for MJ, Kris can't make 10 percent off of her.

In an interesting scene, Mommy told Auntie Kylie that she believes I'm the family's informant. She told Kylie that I have spilled tea at my school about the new baby and that I was happy to get a new brother so that Saint won't bother her anymore. Wow. I guess Jordyn isn't the only one who will be under attack this season. Please know that I take huge issue with my character being called into question on national television. Hopefully, the world saw how unstable Mommy is by how she handled the Rhymefest situation and will ignore her. This woman is irrational and will drag anyone to make herself look good, even her own daughter. I hope it was worth it and that she got the ratings she was looking for. If I have more to say on this matter, I will be saying it at the Red Table with Jada Pinkett-Smith.

Meet me back here next week when I recap Episode 2 of my show.

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