The crew who had been in Mexico ended their vacation on relatively high notes. Tom Schwartz got back into Katie Maloney's good graces with rose petals, junk food and a personal violinist. Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark kissed/hugged out their issues. And Krazy Kristen lied dormant. Unfortunately, LaLa Kent had a few more anxiety-driven meltdowns, but with the help of her baby bottle and her friends' literal caresses, she managed to pull herself together.
Back at SUR, Billie asked Lisa Vanderpump if James (who had been fired for harassing Katie and his drunk behavior) could DJ her white-themed Brunch with Billie event at SUR. Given James' history at the restaurant, Lisa said, "I don't know about that." Billie was pissed, especially because Lala's outburst on her and Raquel a few episodes back went unpunished.
"But Lala came in crazy and attacked everyone!" Billie said, which Lisa met with, "I have made so many allowances for James."
"I just think it's a little ridiculous that James..." Billie tried to reply before Lisa interrupted, "I don't care what you think right now."
Despite Lisa's feelings on the matter, Billie continued to pitch to her why James would be the perfect DJ for her event. In the middle of her plea, Lala interrupted to ask Lisa if the top she had changed into was "better." (Earlier in the evening, Lisa reprimanded her for showing up to work in a nonexistent top and low-rise jeans.)
"I love how she gets to run around here and be at work half-naked, and she's a bitch to everyone," Billie said to Lisa once Lala walked away. "I've gone through serious shit in my life. She makes people feel like shit, but then James brings an amazing energy to party life! Like, people come to have a good time."
Although Billie wasn't necessarily yelling, her tone was sassy enough to make Lisa shush her multiple times.
"I'm gonna go breathe because I'm f--king pissed off," Billie replied to Lisa's attempts to quiet her down.
"Stop using language like that to me!" Lisa fired back. Billie stormed off, and Lisa chased her down. Keep in mind this was all happening in the middle of SUR. (If those walls could talk, man...)
"You do not talk to me like that, okay?" Lisa said sternly once she caught up with Billie. "I don't care whether you're fighting somebody else's cause. You do not talk to me like that. I am the decision-maker here, not you. And I will not have you swear at me and then storm off and throw a temper-tantrum. I've done nothing but support you, but I'm not on your side when it comes to bad behavior."
Billie barked back, "You choose to acknowledge my bad behavior but not hers!?" She then sarcastically asked Lisa if she wanted her to just "smile and agree" with everything she was saying, and that is precisely what Lisa wanted.
Billie immediately found Scheana Shay, who was busy working on the other side of the restaurant, to vent/cry. Scheana suggested to Billie that she find a way to separate herself from the most hated man among their friend group if she wanted to remain part of their friend group. She used Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright's upcoming engagement party as an example of events she'd have to miss if she continued to fight so hard for James.
"I don't want you to be completely excluded from things like Jax and Brittany's engagement party," Scheana said. "They don't want you there because you remind them of James."
Billie was equal parts shocked, angry and sad. "That's high school!" she shouted. "'Oh, you hang out with so-and-so, so I'm not gonna invite you to my party'? I did nothing wrong to them! I hope you stand up for me 'cause I've stood up for you nonstop when it comes to them talking shit about you. You've been the outcast! You know that what it's like to be the one that's not invited to things because you've been disrespected, and now I'm being disrespected!"
Scheana maintained she was only looking out for Billie's best interests and emotions by suggesting she separate herself from James. With tears in her eyes, Billie marched off to go find Brittany.
There was absolutely no beating around the bush once Billie found Mrs. soon-to-be Taylor. "Scheana told me that you don't want to invite me to your engagement party because I'm connected with James," she blurted out.
Brittany was visibly taken aback and tried to reply as nicely as possible. "It's not that I don't want to invite you because of that," she said. "It's just that whenever I talk to Jax about it, Jax doesn't think you're a very trustworthy person. He said that he didn't think it would be a good idea. A lot of things have happened with our group of people, and we just don't need the fighting or anything going on. I don't want James to be there fighting with Katie, or maybe you and Kristen or Lala..."
Billie maintained she wasn't "with" James and therefore didn't understand how her friendship was relevant to the situation, but Brittany wasn't budging. Billie's eyes filled up with tears as she told Brittany she had "so much love" for her.
Poor Brittany tried desperately to reiterate that she didn't want any amount of drama at her engagement party, adding that "some of the people you aren't getting along with right now are gonna be my bridesmaids."
Leaning in for a tearful hug, Billie said, "I just want you to know that I love you, and I hope you have a wonderful engagement." Ugh, it was gut-wrenching.
Not only was Brittany sad she had to turn Billie away, she was also upset she had to decline Raquel's invite to her "puppy shower -- it's like a baby shower, but for our puppy." Jax was present when Raquel invited them both to celebrate her and James' new dog, but given their history, Jax said he didn't feel comfortable going. Brittany agreed.
Raquel was surprised and genuinely really sad, so she turned her sights to Stassi, hoping for a different outcome. Unfortunately, Stassi wasn't as nice as Brittany was in declining Raquel's offer.
"Raquel, are you serious?" she said without an ounce of humor. "I just have to decline. With everything that's happened, I'm not going to James' puppy shower." She later told the camera she would rather light one of her arms on fire than attend the festivities.
"From my standpoint, I see more to James than you do," Raquel said to Stassi. "And I understand why he acts a certain way."
"You sound like the woman who wanted to marry Charles Manson," Stassi replied.
Raquel batted her "Bambi eyes" and said, "I don't know who that is."
"Vanderpump Rules" airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.