"She always wants me to swoop in and defend her!" Kyle says of the blowup.
After getting kicked out of Lisa Vanderpump's house for asking LVP if she and husband Ken Todd planted a story about Dorit Kemsley with Radar Online, only to refute it in an interview with TMZ, Kyle met up with Dorit, Teddi Mellencamp, Erika Girardi, Denise Richards and Camille Grammer for drinks. She needed one...more like two...more like 27.
"You guys are not going to believe what happened to me yesterday," Kyle began. She told the ladies exactly what happened -- that Lisa and Ken lost their minds when Kyle went over to explain that some of the women were questioning the couple's involvement in and potential cover-up of PuppyGate. When Lisa and Ken asked Kyle if she felt there was any merit to the accusations, she said yes, and all hell broke loose.
"She always wants me to swoop in and defend her!" Kyle vented to her co-stars. Camille, who's been along for the "RHOBH" ride since Season 1, backed up Kyle. "But you've always been in that position," she said. "For years!"
"They were both so angry and hostile," Kyle said of LVP and Ken, who ended up cursing her out and kicking her out of their home. "Ken said, 'Well, I hope you told them that's not true and that Lisa would never do that!' I said, 'No, I didn't.' So he said to me, 'You're a f--king liar! You're not my f--king friend! You're not Lisa's f--king friend! Get out of our house!'"
"And Lisa said, 'If you think that I did this on purpose then there's nothing left to say!'" Kyle added. "She could've just said, 'I'm sorry that you feel like that.' Anything but this."
The ladies were stunned. Most could barely even speak, but Erika managed to blurt out, "That's not friendship; that's bullshit."
Kyle later told husband Mauricio Umansky that even though she's hurt and has had these types of issues with Lisa in the past, she still loves her. But Mauricio said he didn't necessarily feel the same way, calling the way Ken spoke to Kyle "totally unacceptable."
Over at Villa Rosa, Lisa and Ken were reliving the drama as well.
"What happened with Kyle the other day?" she said. "I don't think I've ever lost it like that in my life before."
Ken said Kyle "absolutely knows it doesn't make sense" and that she simply has it out for Lisa.
"I think I've taken quite a lot of crap from Kyle Richards," Lisa said during a later confessional. "Even last year with Nanny K, even saying little things like that. You know, that hurts." (Nanny K was Lisa's grandmother who lived with her for many, many years. Kyle had a brief lapse in memory when Lisa brought up her name last year.)
Before the big blowup, Lisa and Ken (but mostly Lisa) decided they wanted to redo their kitchen. Given that the last thing that kitchen saw was Lisa and Kyle's friendship falling apart, she was eager for construction to get underway.
"You know what, Ken? This kitchen has this sort of negative vibe to me. And also, with Kyle standing there, I feel like taking a sledgehammer, not to her head, but to this kitchen. Just the whole thing. I want it gone," Lisa told her husband. "I don't want love like that. And I wouldn't love somebody that I would say preys on the weak, is manipulative, is a liar. Why would you love somebody like that? I would detest them, actually."
Interestingly enough, Lisa sorta-kinda reprimanded Ken for being "a bit strong with Kyle," which he agreed with!
"But when she started speaking on you like that," he said, "I just saw red."
"I could say I'm hurt, I could say I don't like anything that she did, but I'm not going to stand here and say what a f--king bitch she was," Lisa concluded, sarcastically adding, "Ah! I said it."
The only person Lisa wasn't on the outs with was Denise (mostly because Denise is too new to really have beef with anybody), so she called her up and asked if she'd like to meet for drinks a little bit before the former's birthday party. Denise showed up expecting some sort of mention of the falling out with Kyle, but Lisa remained coy and mostly chatted about surface-level things.
Lisa then asked Denise if she'd like to stay for the festivities, but Denise said she had already committed to other plans. After giving LVP a big hug and a birthday gift, Denise left to go meet up with the other ladies, who were eager to know what went down during the meetup.
Unfortunately, Denise had no tea to spill, but that didn't matter once everyone realized Camille was tipsy and in the mood to talk you-know-what about her ex-husband, Kelsey Grammer.
"I planned Camille's [bridal] shower not knowing that's where she and Kelsey got married," Kyle said after the ladies toasted to Camille's new life with her now-husband, David Meyer.
"That's like ancient history," Camille assured Kyle. "I don't even remember being in bed with the man, for God's sake! I mean, it's been that long! Not that it was ever that hot and heavy."
Everyone was dying.
"And listen, I've learned a lot because of him," Camille continued. "I was deeply, madly in love with him during our marriage. And at the end, it just petered out."
Fascinated with the word "peter" (Camille's always loved her fancy words), Denise said she was going to start using it to describe what happened to her marriage with Charlie Sheen.
"I love this Camille!" Kyle blurted out as they both recalled a moment from 2011 when Camille told the ladies Kelsey was a "terrible kisser," hinting that he was terrible in bed, too.
Camille then decided to ask Dorit if she had ever "male-groomed" PK, a question Lisa Rinna was visibly not eager to hear the answer to.
"I'm an ex-dental assistant, so it's hard for me because I was a dental assistant!" Camille said as a bizarre attempt to justify her peculiar question for Dorit. "So I'm really funny about teeth, for real! Oh, God, before Lisa Vanderpump got her teeth redone..."
Dorit literally choked while Kyle spit her drink out into her napkin.
"I had such an issue with the gums!" Camille continued while the ladies were keeling over in laughter. "I was like, 'Honey, you need new caps! Your gum line is receding!' But now, they look great. At least you can stand her breath!"
"I'm going down. I'm going down," she added with a laugh, knowing full well she had stuck her foot in her mouth. "Just bring my casket to my wedding. I'll bring the nine-inch nails. Just put me in it."
After the episode aired, Camille responded to TooFab's recap on Twitter, apologizing for her comments. "Ugh! I feel bad for what I said after my cucumber martini," she tweeted. "I can't handle alcohol. Never could. My apologies to the people I insulted thinking I was being funny. I was joking around, but It's wasn't my best moment. Sorry."
Lisa replied to a fan on the same thread who called Camille "two-faced" for saying what she said, then going to Lisa's Vanderpump Cocktail Garden opening in Las Vegas.
"I know, and she's apologizing for being drunk!" LVP tweeted. "Great..."
Lisa Rinna was laughing just as hard as everyone else, but during her confessional, she called Camille out for being two-faced and "wishy-washy" with both Dorit (who she talked you-know-what about a few weeks back) and LVP (who she's friends with on the surface).
"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.
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