It's very hard to believe the 34-year-old South African comedian is single. However, what isn't surprising is that Noah was named the "Sexiest 34" in People's latest "Sexiest Man Alive" issue.
"It's a very specific sexy, a very, very specific sexy, but I'll take it," Noah joked. "I want to look like I was president for two terms. That's what I want. That kind of aging." Noah named President Barack Obama as an example, who he said has "unaged" after leaving the White House.
"You're single...So we're gonna play a game, it's called 'Who'd You Rather', Ellen then announced. "We're going to show you some people and we're going to end up with the person that's best for you."
"Rihanna. Are you kidding me?" Noah immediately answered. "We have the exact same birthday...February 20th. So then I would never forget her birthday that's an easy relationship."
Rihanna vs. Tiffany Haddish
"This is hard," Noah said. "I'll switch to Tiffany Haddish now... 'Cause like Rihanna after a while I'd get bored over the fact that everyone's like, 'It's Rihanna! It's Rihanna! Who's that?'"
"Tiffany Haddish," he added. "She's fun. She's beautiful. I'll go with her."
Khloe Kardashian vs. Tiffany Haddish
"Now we got a Kardashian for you," Ellen said. This proved to be a little bit of a game changer for Noah.
"Dirty secret. I would have always loved to date a Kardashian just for like a week," Noah admitted and Ellen joked in reply, "That's how long they last."
"Just to be like in that world," Noah said. "I want to be on the show. I want to be like in the game. I want to be a Kardashian just for a little bit, so I'll switch to Khloe."
Khloe Kardashian vs. Jennifer Aniston
"I'm going to stick with Khloe Kardashian," Noah immediately answered.
Khloe Kardashian vs. Nicki Minaj
But Noah quickly dumped Khloe as soon Nicki's photo appeared on the screen, in which she just so happened to be wearing an outfit that left little to the imagination.
"Oh, now I jump!" Noah said. "Nicki Minaj."
"Khloe's going to be too much drama, but it's not controlled drama. With Nicki, we could rap together. We can do the whole thing. And if she wants me that means that her buns want some from my anaconda so we're rolling."
Ariana Grande vs. Nicki Minaj
"Ariana Grande," Noah replied. "No, because then I'll be in a song...I don't want to be in like the 'Thank U, Next.'"
WINNER: Nicki Minaj
Ellen told a very excited Noah: "Nicki is putting on that outfit and she'll be waiting in your dressing room."