The comedian is his goofy, authentic self during Ellen DeGeneres' fan-favorite segment, Burning Questions.
Here's some math for ya: Adam Sandler is funny. Ellen DeGeneres is funny. Burning Questions is funny. Therefore, Adam Sandler appearing on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" to answer her burning questions should be a barrel of laughs.
And it was!
The comedian was his goofy, authentic self during Ellen's fan-favorite segment on Friday -- spilling everything from how often he stares at his penis, to what he does that mortifies his kids, and even the craziest rumor he's ever heard about himself.
Have you ever been in handcuffs in real life?
"Yes," Adam admitted, while Ellen said she had not.
Besides your face, what body part do you look at the most in the mirror?
"I don't wanna look at it, but ... the thing," Adam said reluctantly. "I don't wanna look at it at all! But it happens. That's just what I see. I don't wanna look at it."
"Why do you look at it then?" Ellen asked.
"Because something in my head tells me to look, but it's not like out of joy," he confessed. "It's like, 'Alright, it's still there. Everything's great. That's it. Thank you.'"
What's something that you do that embarrasses your kids?
"Tuck my shirt in," Adam revealed. "That's every time I go to school. So I don't tuck my shirt in in real life, but it's just so early in the morning that I get my pants on, and my shirt's tucked in. And then I hear as I'm walking down the hall -- the stares -- 'Untuck your shirt! Untuck your shirt! Please don't go to school like that!'"
When was the last time you got out of a speeding ticket for being famous?
With a big smile, Adam replied, "Every time. But it hasn't happened for years."
"How many times have you been pulled over for speeding?" Ellen asked.
"Honestly, not that much. A hundred?" he said with a laugh.
What's the most rebellious thing you did as a teenager?
"I put Sun-In in my hair," Adam said, which Ellen made sure to point out was "not rebellious!"
"I thought it was. It made it orange. I thought it was a big moment for me," he replied.
Who's the bigger diva: David Spade or Chris Rock?
"That's funny. You know it's Spade," Adam said to Ellen.
Who's a better kisser: Jennifer Aniston or Drew Berrymore?
"I have to go with Chris Rock," Adam quipped.
What is the craziest rumor you've heard about yourself?
"I heard I was dead like 12 times!"
What's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
"I walk down the hall and make sure the kids are up," Adam explained. "And they tell me they need more time, and then I just stand. They say, 'Can we have 5 more minutes?' And I say, 'Yeah.' And then I just stand there for 5 minutes. It's awful."
What's the strangest thing you know way too much about?
Adam struggled to find an answer until he blurted out, "I think I know a lot about shampoos?"
"What do you know about shampoos?" Ellen inquired.
"I know that conditioner makes the hair silky and smooth," he replied, prompting the audience to erupt in cheers.
We all needed this today. Happy Friday.
Got a story or a tip for us? Email TooFab editors at email@example.com.