George Clooney Leads Charge in Battle Against 'Rampant Dumbf--kery'

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo saying that "steady reductions in sea ice are opening new passageways and new opportunities for trade" was apparently the last straw for George Clooney.

Pompeo's comments came concurrently with a new report from the UN that one million species were at risk of extinction due to human factors like pollution and climate change (those "reductions in sea ice"), as reported by CNN.

"The volumes of invaluable knowledge gathered over centuries are now threatened by an epidemic of dumbf--king idiots saying dumbf--king things," Clooney said Tuesday night on "Jimmy Kimmel Live."

The whole sad situation was enough to convince the A-list actor he should be the spokesperson for a new initiative to combat this growing epidemic.

"Dumbs--t is highly contagious infecting the mind of even the most stable geniuses," Clooney said, watching a clip of President Trump saying that the sound from windmills causes cancer. "Wow," was all Clooney could say after that.

"Rampant dumbf--kery now threatens our health, our security and our planet," he said during this very serious infomercial, before introducing the solution: "United to Defeat Untruthful Misinformation and Support Science (UDUMASS)

"Just $20 will convince one f--king idiot that climate change is real," Clooney said. "$50 will teach five brainless dumbf--ks to vaccinate their kids and $200 will teach dips--t knuckledraggers that dinosaurs existed, but not at the same time as people."

Clooney was earnest and compelling in his argument. After all, as he pointed out at the top of the commercial, he is an actor, director and two-time "Sexiest Man Alive." If those aren't solid credentials, what are?

"Together we can win the fight against dumf--kiness," Clooney insisted, though he didn't seem particularly confident that even the DUMASS program could do much to stem the tide.

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