The former "That '70s Show" co-stars are appalled at the details of their breakup, and Kutcher's secret so dark even he doesn't know what it is.
Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are having fun with a tabloid cover story reporting that the couple has broken up, sharing their reaction video to Instagram.
The couple, who have been married for four years and share two children, were stunned by the news. Unfortunately, all Kunis had was the cover image, sent to her by a friend, but that was enough to get them all worked up over the details.
It turns out, Kutcher had a very dark secret exposed, but unfortunately neither of them know what that was.
This may be the best response to a tabloid story yet. Rather than get mad about it or strongly try to deny it, Kunis and Kutcher instead acted just as shocked and amazed by every detail as the tabloids hope their readers will feel.
Kutcher took a final shot at the publication in the video's caption, writing, "Have fun selling magazines this week. Maybe next week my wife will be having twins. For the third time."