Nori's Black Book Recaps Khloe Kardashian Finding Out Tristan Thompson Made Out with Jordyn Woods on 'KUWTK'
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"I called the movers to go get Jordyn's stuff out of Kylie's house because Stormi was too emotionally distraught to make any decisions," writes "North West."

The woman behind Nori's Black Book -- a viral parody Instagram account written entirely in the voice of Kim Kardashian's sassy 6-year-old daughter -- is bringing her talents to TooFab.

Each week, "Nori" will be recapping new episodes of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and giving us HER take on all the family drama.

(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)

Sunday's episode of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" started with Khloe walking Kendall, Kylie and Jorydn through her house, discussing the renovations she was planning on doing. She explained that she had to move into a rental while the work was being done but that she would still be close by. Khloe told them that she was going to build a huge gym with floor-to-ceiling glass so that when you work out, you have a great view. Jordyn said she would come work out at Khloe's new gym.

Jordyn will never step foot in that gym. In fact, our security has been given strict instructions to call the police if she trespasses on any of our properties. Same goes for Joyce. -NW

Khloe also showed Kris the blueprint of the renovations. She showed Kris that she was making her whole second floor a master closet. Kris was confused that the bathroom on the blueprint was a "his and hers" bathroom. Khloe explained to her that she and Tristan were going to share a bathroom.

Kris was confused because, like many of us, she knew the relationship with Tristan would not last. Who designs a bathroom in mind for serial cheater? -NW

While the renovations were getting started, Khloe planned to go to Cleveland to be with Tristan and then return to L.A. with him for NBA All-Star Game weekend.

I wonder if he knew this was the plan because he clearly made other plans that didn't involve her. -NW

Over at Kylie's house, Khloe was feeling super nauseous. Khloe has a history of migraines, but she was unsure if the nausea was related to that. Kylie said she thought Khloe should take a pregnancy test just to be on the safe side. Kylie volunteered to take one with her. She even convinced Kris to take a pregnancy test as well. Luckily, Kylie had spare pregnancy tests laying around. Kylie and Khloe's tests came back as not pregnant, and Kris' was inconclusive. The theory is that she's too old for the test to get an accurate reading.

I never want to be surprised by pregnancies again, so I have a new policy that if you are nauseous, you must take a pregnancy test in my presence. It helps me get ahead of the story instead of being blindsided by TMZ. I even make great-grandma MJ take pregnancy tests. You can't be too sure in this family. -NW

In the next scene, the Disicks and the Wests went to Color Me Mine. Kanye brought up how he had been wanting to start a church. He decided that, this year, he would not let a Sunday go by without doing it. It was originally meant for just for close family and friends, but a lot of people began asking to come the more Kim posted about it on social media. Kanye said there was no pastor because they needed to take time and keep growing.

Starting a church is one of DadYe's better business plans. The money we make during tithes and offering at just one Sunday Service is equivalent to selling about 300 pairs of Yeezys. We should've started a church years ago. -NW

At Scott's house, Khloe had another migraine and was feeling nauseous again. She was supposed to go to Cleveland the following day, but because she was in bad health, she wasn't able to go. She got an MRI of her brain to see if anything was wrong, but her results showed that everything in her brain was normal. The doctor told her that stress can stimulate her migraines.

Studies have shown that lying and cheating NBA players are also the leading causes of migraines and nausea. -NW

Since so many people were asking to come to Sunday Service, the location had to be changed to a bigger outdoor space.

I love performing at Sunday Service. Some days, I think I would even do it for free. Luckily, I don't have to. -NW

Later, Khloe moved into her rental home. She wanted everything to be perfect and refreshed for Tristan, but unfortunately she had a migraine. Kris came over to visit and check out her new rental. She said she thought the stress of getting the house ready was the reason for Khloe's migraines.

How terrible was Kris' outfit in this scene? She showed up to Nobu with the same outfit on for a business meeting. I excused myself from the table and left. -NW

Tristan decided to rent a house for his guy friends for the big basketball weekend. During the weekend, Tristan went to an after party at this house. Jordyn was there, too. He never came home after the after party.

Later, while doing her confessionals for the show, Kim got a call from (everyone's favorite "why are you here" girl - NW) Larsa. Larsa spilled the tea on Tristan and Jordyn and said that the press would be running the story. Khloe called Kim, Kourtney and Kylie on a conference call. Khloe said that Jordyn said she couldn't remember if they did or didn't kiss. Khloe told Jordyn that she could text her if she couldn't talk about it. Jordyn said she would call Khloe back, but she went radio silent.

Meanwhile, Tristan was on a plane heading back to Cleveland, so Khloe couldn't get in contact with him. Jordyn originally said that she was at the party to be a watchdog, but she never followed up with Khloe. As the story ran, everyone just watched it unfold.

I believe this is when I called the movers to go get Jordyn's stuff out of Kylie's house. Stormi was too emotionally distraught to make any decisions, so I did what needed to be done. -NW

Kim felt bad for Khloe because Jordyn was someone that Khloe trusted and believed in.

And employed. -NW

Kendall was the last one to find out and called Kim in disbelief. Kendall said that Jordyn was the last person she thought would do this.

Then, Khloe called back and said that Jordyn confirmed she made out with Tristan. She also said Jordyn assured her she loves her and that her loyalty is to Khloe. Kim said that that was the opposite of loyalty, adding it was so disrespectful of Jordyn to do, especially because Jordyn provides for her family with everything Kylie does for her. Everyone agreed that both Jordyn and Tristan were in the wrong.

Later, Kris said she texted Jordyn looking for Kylie, not knowing any of the Tristan drama that was going on, but she didn't text her back. Kris felt everyone should focus on keeping Khloe calm. Kris said she considered Jordyn like another daughter and that she was disappointed in Tristan. Up until Kim told her that Tristan admitted everything to Khloe via text, Kris was still being hopeful it wasn't true. Kylie told Kim that she felt lost and didn't know what to say to Jordyn. Kris said this changes everything, because if she could do this to Khloe, she could do the same thing to Kylie.

Jordyn was like another daughter to Kris -- a daughter she wasn't getting 10 percent from, so Jordyn was always disposable. The next day, I overheard Kris asking Corey if he's kissed Jordyn. Everyone was paranoid after this happened. -NW

Once Tristan landed in Cleveland, he gave Khloe answers to her questions and confirmed that he made out with Jordyn. Khloe said she was hoping for a better outcome for her and her daughter.

Khloe told Kourtney and Scott that she was so heartbroken, in shock and humiliated. Kourtney wanted her to know that it was okay to feel angry and that she had every right to say nasty things if she wanted to because it would make her feel better.

Tristan told Khloe he couldn't stop thinking about her and that he was going to try to kill himself, so she sent one of Tristan's friends over to check on him. The friend reported back that he said he was fine.

Later at the West house, Kim and Kylie checked in with Khloe. Khloe said that Jordyn didn't think about her, Kylie or her daughter. While she blamed both Tristan and Jordyn, she said she knew who Tristan was, she just never thought in a million years that's who Jordyn was. Kylie said she called her and told her she was scared of her now. Kim thought that Jordyn not saying sorry is the biggest problem. Khloe said that Jordyn was now down-playing the situation and never apologized. Khloe said that both Jordyn and Tristan collectively ruined the relationship with her, with True, with Kylie, with everyone. Kylie said that things would never be the same again, if she decided to keep Jordyn in her life.

FYI: Auntie Kylie has been secretly giving Jordyn rent and grocery money. They also meet up at a park so Jordyn can have visitation with Stormi. -NW

Kris called and said that she talked to Jordyn. She said she told Jordyn she needed to start with Khloe because Khloe was damaged. Kris said that Jordyn was crying and very apologetic. Kris told Jordyn that, until she works this out with Khloe, it would never be okay with the family. They thought Jordyn was just scared and that that's why she hadn't said sorry to Khloe.

Unfortunately, Khloe was scheduled for an appearance while all the drama was going on. She didn't want to lose out on money just because her personal life was falling apart, so she kept her commitment and showed up. Khloe felt like she was in a fog and not present. She did what she had to do so she could go home and be alone.

I'm glad that Auntie Khloe followed through with her appearance. It was very professional of her. Why lose out on a a bag because you're in your bag? Also, now that it's clear she's going to be a single parent, she needs all the bags she can get. -NW

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