"I hope I signed in the right places 'cause it was 2 in the morning, I already ordered my Uber, I had 1 percent left on my phone, right?" Lance explained. "And I'm like, okay, and I forget, oh, my mic's on, so I'm taking my mic [off], and they're like, 'No, no no, don't take it off! You need to, uh, can you go please say bye to Brittany and Jax on the dance floor?' I'm like, 'Okay, but my Uber's here, I got 1 percent, it's gonna die, but okay, I'll go in.'"
"I get on the dance floor, I'm talking to Brittany and Jax, she's crying and giving us love, and Jax is like, 'Oh, wait, should we sign the marriage license now?' I'm like, 'Yeahhh.' He goes, 'Lemme go get it,'" Lance continues. "So he goes upstairs. I'm like, 'Dammit, my Uber's never gonna come. We're in a castle with no reception.' And so, as he goes off to go get the marriage license, what comes on by the DJ? 'Dirty Pop.' And the whole cast, of course, freaks out. [Tom] Sandoval has his own dance routine, and then I have to stand there. Like, I have to dance the whole time. I can't just leave when my own song's playing. So I look like a big, ol' tool bag, dancing and freaking out to my own song with Tom Sandoval doing like slides under my legs."
"But then, you know, I'm signing the marriage license, and I'm like, 'Guys, I don't even know how legit this is,'" Lance added, before asking fellow podcast guest Jamie-Lynn Sigler what the name of their church was. "Is it Universal Life Church? Okay, good. I got that right! 'Cause I was like, I think I put the wrong church down, I signed in two places, so yeah, I hope that they're married 'cause we just found out Tom and Katie are not married. They did not send in their materials right, so they are not married."
"I think that might be a little storyline [on Season 8]. Total Schwartz [move]," Lance added, reassuring host Rob Evors that he "did catch the Uber."
Reps for Tom and Katie declined to comment on this story.