Deena thinks JWoww "has to work on her double standards."
On Thursday's episode of "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation," retired hothead Jenni "JWoww" Farley was so fed up with Ronnie Ortiz-Magro having his head buried in his phone when he should have been hanging out with his friends in Las Vegas that she took matters into her own drunk hands -- and invited Jen Harley to Vegas without Ron knowing.
She also got the most insane lap dance from Vinny Guadagnino, and we're still recovering.
Last week, Angelina Pivarnick revealed to the group she had received a concerning message from Ronnie's baby mama, saying she hadn't heard from Ron since his Cabo trip, which he unexpectedly extended, and that she wasn't sure what "condition" he was in. Jen also claimed that Ronnie had her blocked, which the roommates found odd. Who had he been texting this whole time?
After lots of tequila, Jenni pried Angelina's phone out of her hands to read the message verbatim. She was shocked. So was Deena Cortese. "Wow. So is he not really sober?" she asked, as Jenni explained, "That's why they're fighting."
"Sooo, is this an act?" Deena wondered, visibly growing more agitated. "It's an act!" Jenni maintained. They were both livid, but Angelina was more conflicted. "I try to be there for him," she explained, "but then that shit comes, and I'm like, 'What do I do?'"
"'I'm gonna be with my roomies, but I'm gonna be [texting] the whole time,'" Jenni said, mocking Ron. "What the f--k is he doing?! You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna f--king hit Jen up right now." The text read: "Is Ron being weird or am I drunk?" Staring at the message, Deena announced she needed "a champagne." Angelina was silent.
"That's devil's advocate, but it's also very neutral. It can go any way," Jenni said in an attempt to make herself feel better about the message. Deena, who was also three sheets to the wind, added, "And you know what?! He talks to Roger [Mathews] all the f--king time!" That's when Angelina, who was apparently also hammered, blurted out, "I have a rad acid refelex." Yes, just like that.
When the girls went back to join Vinny and Pauly D in the bungalow, Ronnie got up and left again. That's when Jenni filled in the guys and said Jen had texted her back. She said similar things to Jenni that she said to Angelina, adding that Ron never came home from Cabo and was "starting huge fights over absolutely nothing. Complete character change."
"So his whole sober thing is fake? So he's just acting sober with us?" Deena asked. Pauly said he was "confused" and that he doesn't like to be lied to. However, with Jen's past, they didn't want to automatically believe her side of the story.
JWoww then decided it would be a good idea to invite Jen out to the strip club that night. (They were going to a female strip club after Vinny's Chippendales performance, but Ron said he didn't want to participate in the second part of the evening.) She admitted it was a "shady" move but didn't seem to care in the moment. Plus, she was wasted.
Once back at the hotel, Jenni did a drunk confessional, where she explained she spoke to Jen quite candidly. "I'm like, 'Wait a minute, Jen, I really don't want my roommate getting ran over again by you, so what's the deal? Are you guys good?' ... F--k. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas -- unless you're on the 'Jersey Shore,' and that shit goes up in f--king 200 countries and you're f--ked."
During a sober confessional, though, Jenni didn't seem to have any regrets. "Ron won't talk to me. Jen's my last resort when it comes to Ron, so I need to protect you," she maintained. "The last time this happened, you literally got ran over, I'm pretty sure you were about to get arrested, she got arrested. Like, we can't have that again! So, open communication!"
When Deena got wind of what JWoww was up to, she wasn't happy. "Jenni was mad at Ronnie at one point for talking about her divorce and not respecting her," she told the camera. "She has to work on her double standards." Pauly had a different reaction. He hugged JWoww and called it a "gangster" move, even though he knew they were "playing with fire."
In the meantime, Vinny was prepping for his show, and the Prank War Champion (Pauly) was on the phone with Uncle Nino, who he flew in to crash Vinny's opening night. By the way, Uncle Nino thinks the phrase "the eagle has landed" is actually "the legal has landed." So there's that.
Once it was showtime, Pauly went out to go grab Uncle Nino. "I'm gonna sneak you in. Nobody knows," he explained, as Uncle Nino replied, "Back door? I'm used to the f--king back door!" As Vinny made his way to the stage, his mother, who was sitting in the front row, started to bawl! She was hysterical throughout the entire performance! "I'm so, I'm so," she blubbered, "I'm so proooud!"
Vinny killed it, as expected. Angelina was literally "about to orgasm," according to Deena, but she claims it was for the other guys. (Sure it was.) Then out of nowhere, one of the dancers came up to Jenni and said Vinny had requested her on stage. She agreed, as long as it would be for Vinny only.
By the time Jenni and her highlighter yellow dress made their way to the stage, Vinny was almost completely naked, standing in a shower. She was dying. We were sweating.
She sat down in a chair at the foot of the stage, as Vin wrapped a towel around himself and approached her sultrily. He turned to face her, opened his towel and her face dropped! He then made her put on his boxer briefs for him. Then, he urged her to stand up so he could bend her over and grind on her! And then, HE SHOVED HER HAND DOWN HIS PANTS! Ronnie called the whole thing "incest," and honestly, it felt that way.
We're still sweating.
Later, Vinny brought three girls up to the stage and sat them down in chairs. He asked them each to do raunchy things, like, "Get down on the floor and show us your favorite sexual position." Guess who got that task? Angelina.
Deena tried so hard to get her not to go up on stage because she's engaged and didn't have on underwear, but that didn't stop her. JWoww said she would've bowed out gracefully, but Angelina took on the challenge. Demonstrating on one of the dancers -- who 100 percent saw her lady parts after she climbed over his face -- Angelina got on top and faced the guy's feet. This position has a name, a name we will not be using. Anyway, when she was done doing precisely what her fiancé asked her not to do, Angelina got on the mic and announced, "I have no underwear on, so I gotta stop that shit right now!"
The episode ended with Uncle Nino coming out on stage in a Speedo and joining the guys for the finale. Vinny was shocked.
Next week, we'll get to see what goes down when Jen shows up at the strip club and a visibly uncomfortable Pauly texts Ron to let him know.
"Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on MTV.
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