RHOC Recap: Tamra Drunkenly Makes Out with Braunwyn on Wild Night Out
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Biggest 'Housewives' Blowouts

"I find you so f--king hot," the newcomer says as she climbs on top of Tamra.

UPDATE at 6:45 a.m. PT on 10/16/19: On Tuesday's "Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen," Tamra basically confirmed she's never been part of a threesome. While talking about having a front row seat to Shannon's makeout session with a random man, she assured Andy that "was the closest I've gotten to a threesome."

Full recap below...

Oh, boy. Tuesday's episode of "The Real Housewives of Orange County" was a drunk mess, and we loved every minute of it.

To celebrate Shannon Beador's 55th birthday, Tamra Judge recruited some of her closest friends -- including co-stars Kelly Dodd, Vicki Gunvalson, Emily Simpson, Gina Kirschenheiter, Braunwyn Windham-Burke and "RHOC" alum Meghan King Edmonds -- to take a train (yes, jokes were made) to San Diego to go bar-hopping.

Still upset because Gina wouldn't return any of her calls after she got stood up by Shane's cousin who had a girlfriend, Emily arrived quite upset. Meghan, who she hadn't met before, could pick up on the bad vibe and asked Emily if everything was okay. But Emily remained coy and kept to herself.

In the train, Tamra whipped out a bag full of penis-shaped cups, straws, lollipops and toys, because of course. Naturally, the women passed around the phallic candy and pretended to perform oral sex on it. Keep in mind the "RHOC" ladies were not the only people on the train.

Tamra and Kelly both participated, as Braunwyn told the camera she hasn't "given a blowjob since like 1997." (Reminder: She has seven kids and gives her husband threesomes for monumental birthdays. This will become relevant in a second.)

After going to town on the lollipop, Kelly revealed to the girls she had gotten into an explosive argument with her boyfriend, Dr. Brian Reagan, because he told her he would text her and then ended up going out for food and drinks instead. Essentially, the two went without talking for about five hours, but she was more upset that he called her "insecure" when she blew up his phone.

Shannon then decided to ask about the date Gina was supposed to go on with Emily's husband's cousin, who not only bailed, but wound up having a girlfriend! The guy told Gina that both Simpsons knew and gave him the okay to proceed with dating Gina, which infuriated her. Emily kept insisting she had no idea the guy had a girlfriend and that Shane only recently reconnected with him. Regardless, Gina was furious and humiliated and needed some time to cool off, so she curbed Shannon's question.

But because this group of women has a hard time letting things go and bringing things up at the appropriate times, the conversation reared its ugly head at their first stop. Gina tried again to avoid the topic, but when Emily -- who was on the other end of the table -- heard what was being said, she stormed off. Meghan followed her.

While Emily was venting to Meghan in the bathroom, Gina barged in. She was furious that Emily would be confiding in someone they both just met -- "Who the f--k is Meghan?!" -- and asked the alum to stay out of their business. She did.

The conversation between Emily and Gina got so explosive that Emily stormed off and was heard demanding that an off-camera producer call her "a f--king car." So Kelly went out to console Emily at the front of the restaurant. Emily told Kelly she felt Gina gets worked up over "petty bullshit" and that she wasn't sure they were "meant to be friends."

When Gina showed up, Kelly tried to mediate, but when everyone showed up, there was no progress made whatsoever. All pretty drunk, they headed to the next bar.

As often happens when these women get liquored-up, sex became a topic of conversation. Tamra tried all night to get Shannon laid and called her a secret "nasty motherf--ker," while Vicki drunkenly shouted across the table, "Shannon, you're a whore!" Shannon kept saying all she wanted was a birthday kiss, but Tamra begged to differ: "Shannon wants somebody to kiss her vagina!"

Poor Gina was stuck in between a drunk Tamra and a drunk Braunwyn, who could not take their eyes off each other. "When Sean's going down on me and I close my eyes, it's me, him and another girl only," Braunwyn said to Tamra, who excitedly replied, "Yes!"

"I've never had a threesome, but then again, my husband cheated on me, so who am I to judge?" Gina hilariously said to the camera.

Tamra eventually convinced Shannon to let her kiss her (no tongue). She let Braunwyn do the same. But when Braunwyn started coming onto Tamra, the make-out session was almost NSFW! Vicki was beside herself. "Eddie's a lucky man," Braunwyn whispered.

While most of the "RHOC" cast was swapping spit, Emily and Gina were on the other end of the table, drunkenly duking it out and agreeing to let bygones be bygones. Gina assured Emily that despite her "abandonment issues," she wasn't going anywhere, which seemed to comfort Emily. Emily also said for the hundredth time that she didn't know Shane's cousin wasn't single, but Gina was hesitant to fully believe her.

After Tamra came up for air, she announced to the whole room, "When I had sex with Eddie the other night, I thought about Braunwyn!" Braunwyn was ecstatic. "That's my thing!" she reiterated. "Like, when I close my eyes, it's me, Sean and other girls." Tamra agreed, adding, "Every time."

"What's the girl doing?" Shannon asked innocently.

"Reading Shakespeare," Braunwyn replied.

In her confessional, Tamra seemingly confirmed what Braunwyn told her husband last week: that she and Eddie are into threesomes, too! "Listen, I married a guy five years younger than me for a reason," Tamra said with a smile. "But there's nothing wrong with a little threesome once in a while, okay?"

Vicki was repulsed by all the kissing and sex talk, as Kelly explained she just doesn't "find vaginas appetizing. Penises are pretty, way better than vaginas." That's when Tamra fell out of her chair. Somehow, Vicki ended up on the floor, too, and Shannon almost peed her pants. The other restaurant patrons could not believe their eyes and ears.

The girls then stumbled their way to a club, where Braunwyn "dirty danced" on Tamra, which Vicki didn't like. "Braunwyn f--king bugs the shit out of me," she told anyone who would listen. "I'm going home. Braunwyn's trash. She's dancing like she's 12 years old. She's just classless."

"We all just met Braunwyn. Stop trying to be the center of attention all the time. It's annoying," Vicki vented to the camera. She eventually told Shannon she didn't want to be around Braunwyn and said goodbye. "I'm drunk, and I'm over it."

Tamra then urged the man Shannon was dancing with, Marcos, to give her a birthday smooch -- and, boy, did he! The make-out sesh was intense, but not as intense as Braunwyn's second one with Tamra. "I find you so f--king hot, and I like you," Braunwyn said as she climbed on top of Tamra, who was lying down in a booth. Emily said she felt like she was at a "sex show" in Amsterdam. Kelly found the whole thing "bizarre."

"I'm the one with the rumors?! Look at these chicks!" she said.

Later, Kelly and Dr. Brian had a very candid conversation about money and parenting. He was upset she had bought his son a PlayStaion without his blessing, but she didn't understand why she needed it. He also suggested Jolie was spoiled, but Kelly felt she could do whatever she wanted with her money and her only daughter. They also discussed Kelly's blowup on him for not texting her when he said he would.

"We've had a couple hiccups, and they haven't been comfortable," he said. "And it might have been easier for us to just be friends, but we've worked through it. I've never had somebody to want to hear from me so much, and I appreciate the love you give me. I feel it, and so I can't promise you that there won't be another time, but I can promise you I'll be more aware."

"The Real Housewives of Orange County" airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.

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