"I truly believe Zack," Jenni insists. "He's just not capable of lying."
Thursday's episode of "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" documented Jenni "JWoww" Farley finding out what went down between her then-boyfriend, Zack Clayton Carpinello ("24"), and her co-star, Angelina Pivarnick, at that nightclub in Las Vegas.
The only problem is that Jenni -- who was present for the ordeal but admittedly "blacked out" -- was hearing a few different stories: one from Zack, one from Angelina and one from Vinny Guadagnino, who was the most sober that evening.
As we know, Jenni broke things off after watching last week's episode, where Angelina claimed Zack grabbed her as she danced close by. Jenni was sitting on the floor in between Zack's feet, basically incoherent.
But before that, and prior to the alleged hip/butt grab, Jenni, Zack and Angelina seemingly three-way kissed. At least that's sort of the version of events Zack told Jenni. It's also important to note that, in the moment, all three participants seemed to be on board with the kiss.
The morning after the night, Jenni woke up still drunk and still wearing her dress from the club. She mumbled about how she had never been that wasted before, as Zack quietly tried to get her ready for the airport. In the living room, Vinny met up with Angelina, who was unsure if she had made up the events she could've sworn transpired.
"The weirdest thing is I saw you guys dancing at Drai's, and he grabbed you," Vin said, adding that he saw Zack "touching your ass." Angelina was ecstatic. "You saw it! You saw it! I saw your face! Oh, thank God. Thank God! I wasn't dreaming," she said, adding that Zack told her after the club that he would be calling her to say hi. She found the whole situation to be quite odd and felt 24 just got "too comfortable, too quick."
"Even though I don't like Angelina, I actually agree with her right now, that that was kind of shady situation," Vin said in a later confessional. "I know that Jenni is looking through Zack-colored lenses right now, but if Jenni finds out about this whole thing, she's gonna flip out."
After everyone was back home in their respective states, Vinny said they all texted about Vegas. "We were in a group chat talking about the night Jenni was drunk in Vegas with 24," he explained to the camera. "I made a comment like, 'Yeah, and how about when Zack was dancing with Angelina?' Angelina says that Zack was grabbing her, she doesn't like 24, she's saying his intentions aren't good, and that really pissed off Jenni."
What happened after was a lot of he-said, she-said.
While we didn't get to see Zack's conversation with Jenni, we did get to see her FaceTime call with Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi to fill her in. "Angelina's trying to turn it into something like he grabbed her. She f--king kissed him!" Jenni shouted into the phone.
Meanwhile, Angelina was busy filling in her fiancé, Chris. "[Nicole] is texting me saying, 'What happened in Vegas? Did you make it a big deal that he was dancing with you?'" she read from her phone. "How f--king dare her?!"
"Any time you're on Jenni's bad side, you're also on Nicole's bad side," Vinny explained. "So Nicole starts to text Angelina like as Jenni's little attack chihuahua and was like, 'What are you saying about Zack?' So now it's an all-out war. Jenni's now saying that Angelina tried to kiss Zack, Angelina's mad that everyone's teaming up on her, that this is gonna ruin her engagement. And we're all about to get together for Deena [Cortese]'s baby's baptism in just a couple days."
Ay, Dios mío.
While Vinny went over to Jenni's house to explain what he saw and listen to what she had to say, Angelina made her way over to Deena's house. She called Chris from the car. "So nothing happened the whole entire time?" he asked again. She insisted Zack's "kissing" story was a lie.
"You know what? F--k them all because the truth's gonna come out anyway," Chris said before hanging up the phone, not reciprocating when Angelina said, "I love you."
She sobbed to Deena, explaining she felt so alone and ganged up on. And while Deena said she wanted to remain neutral, she also sympathized with what Angelina was going through. And no, Deena does not remember the majority of the evening.
"But what did Zack do? He just moved you out of the way?" she asked. Angelina insisted it was an intentional and "inappropriate" grab that was causing major strain on her engagement and life. "I'm stressed out. I lost so much weight over all this. This can break up my engagement, you know? Just her saying that? My fiancé thinks that this actually happened, and this is why I'm upset," she said, wiping away tears.
Meanwhile, Jenni told Vinny it was the "first time" she had ever blacked out. "I just don't like being that person that's like, 'I don't remember any of it.' But I'm glad that I was that level because, if I would've saw that, her kissing him, and I was in a state of mind..."
Vinny cautiously interrupted, "That's the part where she is like denying it ever happened." He insisted he "didn't see that part" but said he saw Zack "dancing with the two of you, and then he like reached around and probably touched this area right here (he pointed to Jenni's hip/thigh) to like dance with both of you, which was weird to me."
"Whatever," Jenni replied. "To me, that's harmless. From what I was told, we were kissing like this, he said, me and Zack, and then she came in like this and she like kissed him right here."
Jenni told Vinny she didn't feel that Angelina being too drunk to remember was a good excuse, even though she was essentially using the same one. She later told the camera, "I'm sorry, but like, there's nothing for me to be mad at. Unless Zack like physically cheated on me, not my problem! If he kissed her, that would be a huge problem, but he didn't! Supposedly, she did. I don't trust Angelina. I truly believe Zack. He's just not capable of lying. There's nothing for him to gain out of that."
When Deena got together with Jenni and Nicole later that night, she explained that Angelina had come over and cried to her about the situation.
"'Cause she's guilty!" Jenni shouted. "I would cry, too, if I was like, 'Damn, I got f--ked up and I kissed someone.' Zack was like, 'I have nothing to hide. I would never disrespect you.' He hasn't even flinched over it."
Regardless of how Jenni felt about the situation, Deena begged for there to be "no drama" at CJ's baptism and said she put Jenni and Angelina at separate tables -- all the while, Angelina's fiancé was asking Vinny, "What happened in Vegas with the f--king clown? Do I have to knock this guy's teeth out?"
Chris calmed down in time for the baptism, which Jenni and Zack didn't attend. They did, however, make it to the after-party. Angelina was hyperventilating the entire time, fearing Jenni would "gorilla slam me into a table."
The two managed to avoid each other, but when Angelina and Chris went to the bar to grab a drink, so did Zack. "What a f--king dirtbag," Chris whispered to Ang. "I'm gonna f--king kill this guy."
"Zack might be some wannabe pro-wrestler that makes $100 a pop in a high school right now, but my fiancé will f--king kill you," she later vented to the camera.
Soon after, Nicole approached Angelina. "Don't be mad at me. I didn't do anything," Snooki said. Rolling her eyes, Angelina replied, "Aw, that's cute, Nicole."
"I texted you to let you know what happened because I black out sometimes," Nicole explained. "I f--k up sometimes and I get drunk, and I'm like, 'What the f--k did I do?' That's why I texted you, to be like, 'Girl, you were drunk. This is what I was hearing about you.'"
"I get it, but you weren't there, so you don't really know what happened," Angelina replied. "The people that were there only know what happened. When I saw those text messages, I was like..."
Nicole interrupted to say she "wasn't accusing" Angelina of anything and maintained she was "helping [her] out as a friend."
"Read your texts over," Nicole urged. "I'm not the dick that you think that I am."
"I don't think you're a dick," Angelina replied. "I just think you're defending someone that you shouldn't be defending."
After that, Angelina felt it was best for her and Chris to leave.
In less explosive news, Snooki had her baby! Also, a then-sober Ronnie Ortiz-Magro told Vinny he and Jen Harley broke up for a month or two after the whole Vegas situation, then decided to go to therapy and get back together.
And we all know how that turned out.
"Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on MTV.
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