This is what happens when the people who made the Jersey Shore famous buy $700 worth of alcohol and temporarily move into an upgraded version of their old stomping ground -- all while tensions between JWoww and Angelina are still sky high over the allegations involving Jenni's boyfriend, Zack Clayton Carpinello, otherwise known as "24." (To catch you up: Zack says Angelina kissed him; Angelina says 24 grabbed her butt.)
Jenni and Nicole were the last to arrive at the two-bedroom townhouse the latter found for the group to stay in for a few days. This one was actually on the water! Go, Snooks. The girls would stay in one room, while Pauly D, Vinny Guadagnino and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro had the other.
Everyone knew the sleeping arrangement would cause problems because Jenni wanted nothing to do with Angelina and vice versa, but what took them all by surprise was just how quickly accusations, glass and every curse word in the book started to fly so early into their mini-vacation.
The group sat down for what was supposed to be a nice dinner, but as we discussed, the wine was flowing. Angelina had already promised Deena Cortese she'd have a civil, sober conversation with Jenni, but all that went out the window after Pivarnick pointed at Vinny and Jenni -- kind of jokingly -- saying she couldn't seem to win with them. After a collective "OOOHHH!" Deena managed to settle everyone down, and they all decided it wasn't the best time to "hash out the problems."
Five minutes later was the opportune time.
In getting up to go get another drink, Vinny asked Angelina if she had her nipples pierced. She was wearing a black tube top, and evidently, he thought he saw something. She said yes, which intrigued everyone at the table. The girls begged Angelina to show them her boobs in the bathroom, but she refused, which Farley seemed to think was because the piercings didn't exist.
"How much do you commit to a lie?" she pointedly asked Angelina, prompting another outrageously loud "OOOHHH!" The conversation quickly heated up from there. "I'm not the one that's kissing other men, showing my vagina and oiling up somebody else..." Jenni began to say, before Angelina cut her off. "I would never kiss somebody else, girl! I don't even think your man's hot!"
Deena tried again to mediate, but she was unsuccessful. Angelina then took the screamfest up a notch by shouting, "What about your f--king divorce that f--king happened that you don't want us to talk about?!"
Fired up, JWoww hurled back, "Because I respect my kids, and I respect my ex-husband! That's how you get a divorce!" Pointing at Ron, she added, "And you take note, too, motherf--ker!" Ronnie was furious. What did any of this have to do with him?!
Farley started screaming about everything Ron and Angelina spoke about at the dude ranch (Jenni's divorce) and blasted Ronnie for being so public about his relationship woes. When Ronnie tried to fire back that none of their lives are really very "private," Snooki swooped in and loudly defended JWoww. Jenni also made the claim that the reason 24 was so open about talking to Angelina about her sex life is because the two met on FaceTime a month before meeting in person, off camera, and spoke about that very thing.
Angelina then accused JWoww of being "grimy" because she kept bringing up past issues and deflecting, which seemed to really trigger Jenni. "Grimy?! Grimy?!" she shouted as she stood up and slammed her hands on the table.
"You made up a lie about me trying to kiss your boyfriend 'cause you wanna deflect 'cause you're f--king boyfriend grabbed me!" Angelina shouted back as she stood up and pointed her finger in Jenni's face. Jenni slapped her hand out of the way and picked up a wine bottle. That's when Angelina picked one up, too, and producers had to step in.
Turning her sights to Nicole, Angelina asked why she had to get involved, claiming Polizzi had sent her nasty and accusatory text messages when she wasn't even in Vegas to see for herself what went down. But Snooki has repeatedly said her texts to Angelina weren't mean. She claims she was letting her know "as a friend" what happened because she felt Pivarnick was simply too drunk to remember. But Angelina told another story.
"Shut up! You're so stupid," Nicole said. "I wasn't there. F--k off! ... So you're attacking me now? Angelina, go f--k yourself!" The comments prompted Pivarnick to call both Farley and Polizzi "mean girls," before whipping out her phone to read Snooki's messages out loud. "Show the texts, bitch! Show the texts! I am not that person! F--k off! I am not that person!" Nicole shouted, starting to cry. "Bitch, f--k off!"
When Angelina said her fiancé, Chris, almost left her because of the allegations, Nicole tearfully fired back, "That's not my problem! F--k her! She's so f--king fake! I'm going home. F--k you. I'm going home."
And this is the moment that made headlines a few months back.
Nicole was hysterical. She stormed off and ran downstairs, all the way out the front door. Jenni and Deena followed closely behind, as Angelina stayed back and read to the boys what she claimed were Nicole's messages. What she read, at least, was in fact accusatory. The supposed texts ended with: "That's the last time I'll let you know the stupid shit you did. Good luck."
"It's not fair! I'm not a f--king bad person!" Nicole sobbed downstairs, as Jenni, Deena and producers tried to clam her down. "She's a f--king liar! I'm not doing it! She's f--king fake as f--k! It's not real!"
Vinny tried to give Angelina a genuine pep talk on how to approach the situation from there, while Ronnie did everything he could to rile her up. After all, he was pissed, too.
Unfortunately, we'll have to wait until next week to find out if the group ever made it to the club that night.
"Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" airs Thursday's at 8 p.m. on MTV.