Given their political and social differences, Chrissy asks her husband if he misses "the old Kanye."
It's hard to find a Hollywood couple more relatable than Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, who welcomed Vanity Fair into their home for a super candid and highly entertaining lie-detector test.
The 25-minute ordeal gave the model-turned-cookbook author and Grammy-winning singer-songwriter the opportunity to put their spouse in the hot seat and ask all sorts of burning questions. And while the majority of the banter was adorable and unsurprising coming from the pair that also considers themselves "relationship goals," it also caught us off guard a few times.
Chrissy got hooked up to the machine first. After a few warm-up questions, John said, "You once told Vogue that three words to describe us as a couple are 'Keeping it sexy.' But that was two years ago. Would you still use those three words to describe us today?"
"I would use those words to describe us this morning," Chrissy replied with a smirk, as John let out a surprised gasp. Smiling, the polygraph administrator revealed the model "was telling the truth."
Blushing, John felt the need to explain he had just gotten back "from a four-day trip."
John then asked Chrissy if she'd still love him if he couldn't sing. "Yes," she replied. What about if he wasn't rich? "Yes," she said again. Neither time was deception indicated.
Pulling up a photo of "Vanderpump Rules" star James Kennedy, Legend pressed Teigen about whether she found him attractive. She belly laughed and said, "In his own way. I've told you this before! I think he's cute!"
Her biggest complaints of John as a "roommate" are that he's "messy" and he doesn't listen. "Your ears are like always off!" she reprimanded. That question transitioned nicely into the next, which was, "Have you ever left the toothpaste open?"
"Every day," Chrissy replied. "'Cause it needs to have a snap-on top! And until it has a snap on the top or you get me one that has a snap on the top, I will continue to leave it open. And honestly, I'm leaving it open 'cause you're gonna use it next. Then you don't have to unscrew it!"
"You're being considerate, is what you're saying," John noted. Chrissy was glad he finally got the picture.
The musician then asked his wife, "Who's your favorite musician, including me?" He leaned in close, but the pressure didn't sway her: "Mariah Carey? Ariana Grande? There's so many!"
Legend asked Teigen if there were other songs of his, in addition to "Green Light," that she didn't like. She said yes, then turned it around on him. "You know it's not that good of a song! You even said it's kind of a little radio-ish and not you," she fired back.
John was caught off guard and vehemently denied disliking the song. In fact, he "loves" that song. "She just doesn't like the lyrics," he defended, as the polygraph administrator said Chrissy was telling the truth.
Chrissy later admitted she was drunk when she posted a photo of John's butt to her Instagram. He said his parents were upset and that it embarrassed him, but she insisted he "wanted" her to post it. When the administrator indicated that that was "questionable" on Chrissy's part, she clarified that she "definitely got approval" from John to post it.
Toward the end of his questioning, Legend asked his wife if she would follow Donald Trump on Twitter in the event that POTUS unblocked her. Smiling, she said, "I would block him. That's all I'm waiting for in life."
It was now John's turn to get grilled, so Chrissy started off with a "simple" question: "Have you cheated on me?" She laughed it off and said she was joking, then said she didn't want to know.
"Would you ever bribe a university to ensure our children go to the best schools?" Chrissy asked, to which John replied, "Bribe? I would more legally do stuff, like donate."
"As a couple," she asked, "would you say we are goals?" With no hesitation, John said, "Yes."
Quoting Legend's "All of Me," which he admittedly wrote with his wife in mind, Teigen asked her husband what her "imperfections" are. He smiled and got awkward, as any loving husband would. "Ummm," he said, voice quivering. "What do you mean? We already discussed this. You don't put the toothpaste cap on, and it incenses me!"
But Chrissy meant business: "Are you waiting on me to lose this baby weight?"
"No, you look perfect," John replied instantly, as the administrator confirmed he was "telling the truth."
Gwyneth Paltrow came up in conversation after Chrissy asked her husband if she cooked better than the Goop founder. While John answered that question to his wife's standards, he did spend a bit too much time doting on the actress. "She's gorgeous. She's damn near perfect. She's got the perfection of a Ryan Gosling," he said.
Chrissy then asked her husband what kind of sacrifices he feels he's made in their marriage. "None of it's like a bad sacrifice," he noted. "I work less than I would if I were single. I have sex with other women less than if I were single," he added with a hearty laugh. "But it's fine! It's worth it. It's worth it."
After admitting he does enjoy some of the Bravo shows his wife forces him to watch with her, Chrissy asked John if she should be a Real Housewife.
"No, I think you don't need it," he replied. "And I actually don't think you would be dramatic enough for them. They like messier people. You're not very messy with your friends."
And speaking of Chrissy's friends, does John find any of them attractive? "I'm sure, yeah. I'm sure," he replied, prompting Chrissy to make a face. "You have attractive friends!" he defended.
"At this moment right now, are you concerned we're not having enough sex?" Teigen asked her husband, who quickly replied, "No. Especially after last night. Wow. TMI, everybody! I'm sorry."
John first met Kanye West in 2001. Given their political and social differences, Chrissy asked her husband if he missed "the old Kanye."
He laughed nervously and said, "Oh, sometimes, yes. But people -- they grow, they change. Artists are who they are." Teigen then asked Legend if West asked him for permission before posting screenshots of their text messages on Twitter. "He did not," Legend replied.
"Do you think Kim [Kardashian] wears the pants in that relationship?" Chrissy asked.
"No, they seem like they have kind of an equal relationship from what I've seen," John replied, prompting Chrissy to ask, "Do I wear the pants in our relationship?"
"In a lot of aspects you do," he said. "I feel like we both have things we care about and wanna take charge of more, and we do those things."
The model posed perhaps the toughest question of all when she asked, "Would you ever have married me without a prenup?"
The 10-time Grammy winner took a moment to collect his thoughts to avoid saying the wrong thing. "Um, I think prenups are a good thing to do," he said carefully. Chrissy just stared. "I actually wish I knew you were gonna be so successful," he added after he noticed he hadn't said the right thing. "I would've re-written the prenup a little bit! You're a lot richer than I thought you'd be."
"If you take one of my monies," she said sternly, "I will kill you."