"No, I drank and did cocaine, though," joked Perkins, referring to the habits of her character, Celia Hodes. Dodd was in stitches, as the response prompted a curious Cohen to ask some follow-up questions, including, "What did they use for coke?"
"Baby laxative," she replied. As Andy grimaced, Elizabeth smiled and quipped, "It was great. It was fantastic!"
When Andy asked the actress if she snorted any of said baby laxative while on set, she quickly said no, then gave the camera a telling look. Again, Kelly was dying, as was Andy. "That's why you were so thin!" he quipped. "Exactly!" she said with a laugh.
A caller then asked Perkins if she could spill on any details regarding the recently announced "Weeds" reboot, but sadly, she doesn't "know anything about it." When Andy asked if she'd be in it, again she had "absolutely no idea;" however, "I don't see how they couldn't have me in it..."
Another caller phoned in and identified herself as a lesbian. She wanted to let Elizabeth know that her role in the 1993 indie film, "Indian Summer," helped her come out in her early teenage years. The caller said that, along with photos of Madonna, photos of Perkins from that period of time adorned the walls of her bedroom.
"So you were rubbing one out to Elizabeth? I love it!" Kelly blurted, as a mortified Andy buried his face in his hand.
The woman then asked the actress if she's ever "taken a dip in the lady pond." After a brief pause and a smile, Perkins replied, "I don't kiss and tell."
When the question was posed on Kelly, she said she had not, "but if you wanna try it," she said to Elizabeth, "I'm ready, willing and able! I mean, you are an inspiration to the young and old. I mean, people rub one out for you!"
Disappointed yet thoroughly amused, Andy quickly wrapped up the segment.
"Thoughts on Kelly calling Vicki a pig and a conwoman?" Andy asked Elizabeth, who replied. "I would've used two very different words."
"If you were Kelly, would you trust Tamra [Judge]?" Andy wondered. "No," replied the actress rather quickly.
When Cohen asked if she felt Tamra was "talking behind Shannon [Beador]'s back," Perkins said, "Well, it wouldn't be the first time."
"If you were Emily [Simpson]," Andy wondered, "what would you say to Shane about the way he treats you on camera?"
"Bitch, please!" Elizabeth replied.
She also had no problem shading the hell out of Vicki's engagement to Steve Lodge, saying she didn't think Steve was "the one."
The remark was music to Kelly's ears, who also had no problem taking a dig at her co-star and former friend.
When asked if she thought the engagement ring she recently received from fiancé Rick Leventhal (who was sitting in the audience) was bigger than Vicki's engagement ring, Kelly replied, "Uh, well, I'm sure his package is bigger than Vicki's. This is bigger!" she shouted, flashing the massive rock. "Sorry, his daughter's here!" she added with a laugh. "I forgot!"
When asked who from Bravo she'd be inviting to the 2020 Napa Valley nuptials, Dodd said, "Everybody but the three amoebas, probably? I'm kidding, I don't know."
"Ramona will be in the wedding party," Kelly confirmed. "And Dorinda [Medley] is a very good friend of mine, and she wants to officiate the wedding. She does! She does. She's begging me. She's like, 'I am the officiator.' I think it would be fun!"
Eyes wide, Andy noted, "My hands just got tight."
"The Real Housewives of Orange County" airs on Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.