The night spiraled out of control as Tamra downed seven shots and began shouting "F--k you!" at half her costars.
But seven shots of tequila was all that stood between the beautiful event and a hysterical Tamra. Below is a breakdown of all the best moments of the evening, starting with the memorable engagement party.
On their way into the venue, Steve asked Vicki who the woman with the colorful hair was. Vicki explained that it Braunwyn Windham-Burke's mom, who happens to be a doctor. "A witch doctor?" he asked.
Once inside, Tamra asked Vicki's brother, Billy, if he had any "last words" for his new brother-in-law. "For my new brother-in-law? Yes," he replied. "I'm just curious if he's all in. I'm just questioning if he wants to get married again. We'll see what happens, you know? I asked his mother, I said, 'How do you think their personalities match?' And she goes, 'They don't.' His mom said that."
"I don't know if Billy's trying to be the protective brother, or is he onto something?" Tamra later confessed. "He knows Steve better than I do!"
Even though they made up a few episodes back, Tamra was still upset with Kelly Dodd for trying to insert herself into Jim Bellino's defamation lawsuit against Judge. The minute she showed up, Tamra's blood started to boil. But before those two even greeted each other, Kelly and Vicki exchanged a very uncomfortable hello as Kelly handed Vicki a bottle of Don Julio and a handwritten note. Kelly kept repeating, "I wish you happiness and health," just like she had practiced in the car on her way there. Vicki was somewhat silent but receptive and leaned in for an awkward hug.
At the table, Emily Simpson -- who was bickering with husband Shane over his impending California bar exam results -- asked Dr Brian Reagan, Kelly's now-ex, when he was going to put a ring on it. He cowered away from the question, then said in a joint confessional with Dodd, "I would be the luckiest guy to be able to marry Kelly, but not right now." After Kelly stared him down, she turned back to face the camera and cavalierly added, "Same with me."
After all those tequila shots, Tamra told Vicki and Shannon, "I think it's ironic that everybody's dressed like a cowboy, and Kelly's dressed like an Indian." She followed it up by throwing up her two middle fingers and saying Dodd "can f--k off! Kelly can eat my shit. I could've put all my kids through college with the amount of money I paid for this lawsuit. She knew that it was so devastating, but she still reached out and said, 'Hey, lemme help you.' F--k her!" The outburst revved up Shannon, who -- even after being dropped from the suit -- still felt the pain.
"Seeing Kelly's little smug face over there makes me wanna just knock her lights out," Tamra later said in a confessional, adding that she had just written her defense attorney another check that morning, so the anger was still fresh.
While the Tres Amigas were standing at a table seething over Kelly, Shannon's hair caught on fire after she leaned in a little too close to a candle. As dramatically as humanly possible, Vicki put out the tiny fire using a tequila shot, but it was still enough to make the whole place smell. "I saved your life," Gunvalson told Beador.
Soon after, Tamra snapped. She saw Kelly line dancing with Emily, Braunwyn and Gina Kirschenheiter and said, "Everybody's buying the Kelly f--king juice right now." She quickly broke free from Shannon and Vicki's grip and ran over, screaming, "Oh, my God! What's so funny?! What's so funny?! What're you guys laughing about?!"
Taken aback, Emily jokingly responded, "You! We're laughing at you." Kelly was confused and added, "I don't know. Were we saying ha ha hee hee?" Tamra angrily replied, "Kinda, yeah." Everyone just stared at each other in awkward silence. Eventually, Gina and Emily pulled Tamra aside. "What is wrong?" Gina asked. Judge was insulted and fired back, "Really?!"
A genuinely confused Gina said she was under the impression that Tamra and Kelly had "talked it out," but Tamra insisted Gina couldn't possibly understand. When Kirschenheiter pointed out that Judge was being "hostile" and "overreacting," the latter lost it. "Has somebody taken $300,000 from your bank account?! Did somebody take it out from you?!" Tamra shouted while pointing her finger at Gina, who simply replied, "I don't have that."
After Gina tried to explain nicely to Tamra that she understood her situation, Tamra got in her face, flipped her off and said, "No, you don't. F--k you." When Shannon tried to intervene, Tamra shoved her and said, "F--k you!" Still, Shannon had her back and put Kelly on the spot for her involvement in the Bellino case. But Kelly maintained Tamra and Shannon got themselves into that trouble. Naturally, a screaming match ensued.
"This is the stupidest thing ever," Emily, an attorney, later scoffed. "No one is deposing Kelly Dodd or using her as a witness in a lawsuit! Keep paying your bills for your defamation suit 'cause it doesn't have anything to do with Kelly."
Gina chased after Tamra, as Braunwyn tried to reason with Kelly. Kelly was livid with Braunwyn's questions and asked, "Are you that stupid?!" Braunwyn said she was starting to see the side of Kelly everyone had warned her about.
Outside, Tamra told Gina she would've stuck up for her if the shoe were on the other foot, so Gina asked Tamra what she wanted her to do to make it better. Tamra shouted, "You've done it all!" as she ran away with her middle fingers in the air. "F--k you! F--k you! F--k you! Go away! Go away! F--king go away!" she repeated, sobbing into a bush. When Gina caught up with her, Tamra's hair looked like a bird's nest. She kept telling Gina she couldn't possibly understand what she was going through.
When Shannon and Vicki met up with them, they joined Tamra in shouting at Gina, "YOU DON'T KNOW!!!" Poor Gina innocently replied, "We were just line-dancing..."
The episode began with Shannon going on a cringe-worthy date with a guy who works with Vicki. His name is Duff. Remember him? He has a kid with "RHOC" alum Tammy Knickerbocker? Anyway, shortly after Duff asked Shannon, "You look great, but back it up a year. What happened?" he also asked, "Are you hot in bed?" It was almost as painful to watch as it no doubt was for Shannon to endure, but somehow, he ended up accompanying her to Vicki's engagement party.
Later, Gina told Emily that Matt had totally changed and that they were in a new relationship and in the process of salvaging their marriage. Emily was supportive, but in her confessional, she said she still felt there were red flags.
Emily also went to go see an orthopedic surgeon about her chronic arthritic pain. She said she finally understood when her mom used to say she was in constant physical pain that made her depressed. After evaluating Emily and taking X-rays, the surgeon determined she needed her left hip replaced. Though she had tears in her eyes, Emily was confident in what her doctor was saying -- that it would totally change her life.
When she called Shane to let him know about the hip-replacement surgery, his first response was, "Yeah, you let it go way too long." Still crying, she said, "No, I understand. I'm just telling you that that's how severe the pain is and how bad the joint is. There's nothing there. There's no cartilage at all. It's gone."
"You did an X-ray?" Shane asked. Somewhat annoyed, Emily said, "Yeah." Shane shot back, "Okay, well you don't have to talk like that, I'm just asking if you got an X-ray." If you could believe it, the exchange was actually more painful to watch than Shannon's date. Emily later cried in her confessional, saying all she wanted was support from her husband.
Oh -- and no, he did not pass his fourth attempt at taking the California bar exam.
"The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 14 three-part reunion kicks off Wednesday, December 18.
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