On Tuesday, the beauty vlogger, whose real name is Nikkie de Jager, posted a video to her channel titled, "Responding To My Coming Out," and opened up about the outpouring of support she's received after sharing her story. Nikkie, who has a whopping 13.1 million subscribers, also "cleared up" some questions about her blackmailers, who had allegedly threatened to reveal she was trans.
The makeup guru first began the video by explaining that she was going to do some "makeup therapy."
"For weeks I was struggling to decide what my next video should be because, how do you follow up a coming out video?" Nikkie said. "I didn't know what to post after that. But there's one thing that has always helped me, even through my darkest times, and that is makeup."
Nikkie then recalled her emotions the night she published the coming out video, saying she had "no idea" what to expect. "That night of me uploading the video, I was the most anxious, the most nervous, the most stressed I have ever been in my life," she said. "The feelings that went through my body, I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy."
The YouTuber, who thanked her fans for their "acceptance, love and kindness," admitted that it took her two days to go out in public after she uploaded her clip as she was "so scared about what the public would say."
Although the Netherlands native was fearful to go outside, she was immediately met with support when she went out to walk her dog. "My neighbor and she told me how proud she was of me and how I'm such a strong individual and she had tears in her eyes," Nikkie said. "Not in my craziest dreams did I think that would happen."
As she continued to do her makeup, Nikkie recalled the overwhelmingly positive response she's received from everyone from media outlets to Dutch lawmakers who had reached out to her. "Trust me when I say, if I could write a book from all the offers I got for a book deal, 'Harry Potter' would be nothing," she quipped. "It has been so crazy and absolutely surreal seeing the world respond to me and welcomed me with open arms and showing me nothing but love and respect."
Though Nikkie ultimately chose to appear on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," she expressed that "the number one outlet where I get to truly be myself and share my full story is here on my YouTube channel." She added, "I want my words to come from a safe place and this right here [YouTube] is my safe place."
The internet personality then took the time to address rumors about her blackmailer and urged her fans to stop searching for them.
"First of all, I think we need to stop the witch hunt that I've been seeing going around," Nikkie said. "I don't think that is your story to tell. If anyone is going to have the right to tell more about these blackmailers, it's going to be me."
"With the help of police, we have found out who exactly was blackmailing me," she continued. "I have their names, their phone numbers, email addresses. I even know where they live and how they treated people around me to get more information on my true story."
While Nikkie said she won't reveal the blackmailers' identity, she admitted she was "shocked" because it wasn't someone she knew.
"I think in a way, they already got their punishment," she said. "They now know that I know exactly who it is. And I think they're gonna have a little bit of that fear, that one day maybe their name is gonna leak to the press, and they're gonna feel exactly the same thing that I was feeling."
"I think it is my right to determine if I want that name to come out or not," she explained. "And right now, with 32 million views, I think he knows. And I think [those] are the most badass 32 million f--k you's ever."
Nikkie also had some words for those who thought her coming out as a transgender was a publicity stunt. "Sweety, have a seat," she said, waving her makeup brush. "Have a seat and go sit there for awhile and rethink your actions and your words."