"I called my brother and I said 'I'm done, I need some help ... I don't want to be a fat drunk loser anymore.'"
Kelly Osbourne has opened up about the downward spiral she faced as a "full-blown alcoholic."
During the "Hollywood Raw with Dax Holt and Adam Glyn" podcast, the former reality star revealed her painful battle with alcoholism and how it took an incredible toll on her physically, mentally and emotionally -- especially as she kept it hidden from most of the people in her life.
"Unless you were in my inner, inner, inner circle you probably didn't even know I was drinking or drunk," 35-year-old TV host began. "I was a functioning alcoholic. Full-blown functioning alcoholic. I kept my job; I kept my friends."
"I reached a spiritual low where I was just so morbidly unhappy and lost and directionless and just broken in every way."
"I took a really hard hit when Joan died," she admitted. "It's still hard for me to even talk about it. She was my family. She was my mentor. When that ended and 'Fashion Police' stopped, I was like, 'What am I?' It was my identity."
The daughter of Ozzy Osbourne said she "felt destroyed" and "hated" herself during that time period.
But she vividly remembered the moment she decided to reach out for help.
"I picked up the phone August 8, 2017, and called my brother and I said 'I'm done, I need some help, can you come to get me?" she detailed. "'I don't want to be a fat drunk loser anymore. I want to be a skinny winner.' I was ready to work on myself and I did it."
Dealing with her alcoholism also helped get Kelly in the right frame of mind to change other aspects of her life, as she recently admitted to losing 85 pounds.
"The number one thing I had to do was get happy. I had to fix my head before I could fix my body," she said. "I stopped drinking, which is the best thing I've ever done."