"I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story."
Chrissy Teigen opened up about her pregnancy loss in a powerful and moving essay on Tuesday.
The cookbook author shared the heartbreaking news on September 30th that she and husband John Legendlost their baby Jack after a difficult pregnancy. And now she has described in detail the challenging journey and her grieving process in a new essay shared on Medium.
The entire essay deserves a full read (which you can access in the link above.).
Among the brave, often painful, and overwhelmingly vulnerable details, Chrissy also explains why she shared images from the hospital.
"I had asked my mom and John to take pictures, no matter how uncomfortable it was," she wrote. "I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them, and that I did NOT want to have to ever ask. That he just had to do it."
"He hated it. I could tell," Chrissy continued. "It didn't make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story."
Chrissy went on to address the backlash and reiterated why she shared the tragic experience so openly.
"I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos," the TV host began. "How little I care that it's something you wouldn't have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren't for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like."
"These photos are only for the people who need them," she continued. "The thoughts of others do not matter to me."
Chrissy has received praise from many corners of the internet, amid the cruel criticism, for helping to break the culture of silence and shame surrounding miscarriages. She began her message by showing her appreciation for those who did support her during the incredibly challenging period.
"I didn't really know how I would start this, no matter the room or state I was in, but it feels right to begin with a thank you," she wrote. "For weeks, our floors have been covered in flowers of kindness. Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes. Social media messages from strangers have consumed my days, most starting with, 'you probably won't read this, but…' I can assure you, I did."
And Chrissy closed out the essay -- which she said she wrote to help her move on and "return back to life" -- by showing her appreciation to her loving fans once more.
"I truly thank you for allowing me to do so. Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see. Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories. We are so incredibly lucky."