Heartbreaking Reason Chrissy Teigen Didn't Look at Jack's Face When He Was Born

Chrissy Teigen couldn't bring herself to look at her son's face when he was stillborn — and now she deeply regrets it.

The model opened up about the loss of Jack in a heartbreaking post on Thursday night, on the week he was due to be born.

She shared a behind the scenes pic from the music video shoot for "Wild", in which she and husband John Legend would announce to fans they were pregnant for the third time.

"I was 10 weeks along and out of my mind happy," she recalled. "I knew the video would take a bit to get together so I thought it would be cute to share our news with the world through the ol classic hand on belly trick at the end."

"I could have never imagined what would happen over the next 10 weeks... not sure I'll ever be able to watch that video again without sobbing but I hope he feels my tears and knows we miss him so."

After she suffered a partial placental abruption, doctors tried everything to try and save baby Jack, including multiple blood transfusions, but it wasn't enough; he was stillborn on October 1.

"I am so full of regret that I didn't look at his face when he was born," Chrissy confessed. "I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams."

"I hurt every day from that remorse. This month is a rough reminder and to be honest, I thought the worst was over but I guess life and emotions aren't on any sort of schedule."

Thanking her followers for all the love and support, she insisted she felt their energy and healing traveling through the night sky.

"and I love you jack," she concluded. "I miss you so so much."

In September, Legend explained to People the decision to include the pregnancy announcement in the "Wild" video; she was nervous about sharing the news because they were so early on, but they shot the video in such a way it could be edited out, should the worst happen before the song was released in August.

Tragically, the complications didn't arise until afterward.

"She was kind of hedging her bets, because we were early in our pregnancy," he said at the time. "We hadn't taken all the tests to make sure everything is okay, and she said, 'Let's just shoot it.' And by the time the video would be edited, we could decide whether or not to use that scene."

"Then all the tests came back great and everything was healthy and good, so we knew it wouldn't be too early to tell people that we were pregnant by that point. So by the time the edit was done, we were comfortable saying to the world that we were pregnant."

He added: "But at the moment, it was more like, 'Let's shoot it, and if we're able to use it, we can. And if we can't, we can't.'"