Their initials spell WAR -- and they clearly came for one.
Oscars hosts Wanda Sykes, Amy Schumer and Regina Hall came out swinging on Sunday as they took aim at the Academy, Hollywood, the Government, the nominees... and even themselves.
After a bit of a flat-falling gag intro from the omnipresent DJ Khaled, the ladies quickly retook control of the stage -- and just as quickly had the crowd in stitches.
"This year, the Academy hired three women," Schumer began, "because it's cheaper than hiring one man."
"This year the Academy hired three women to host—because it's cheaper than hiring one man."https://t.co/1H1Y9jC9bl#oscars pic.twitter.com/hs78koqZRt— ABC News (@ABC) March 28, 2022 @ABC
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As Hall and Sykes declared their pride representing Black women as Oscar hosts, Schumer awkwardly added she was representing all the "unbearable white women who call the cops when you get a little too loud."
As the first normal-ish Academy Awards post-pandemic, there were of course Covid gags, as the trio lamented the toll it had taken on Timothée Chalamet ... as the camera cut to 67-year-old JK Simmons.
"You know what," Hall opined surveying the "Whiplash" star, "I'd still smash."
There were also jibes aimed at the Academy itself and its controversial decision to edit out some of the awards (including, ironically enough, Best Editing); as the hosts defended the move, technical difficulties ensued.
The attack on the Academy continued, as Sykes slammed the snubs, like Rachel Zegler for "West Side Story", Jennifer Hudson for "Respect", and Lady Gaga and Jared Leto for "House of Random Accents."
The crosshairs then shifted to the Academy Awards "rival"... RIP.
"This is kinda sad, you know what's in the In Memoriam package this year?" Schumer asked, as the audience collectively held its breath. "The Golden Globes."
"They didn't have any Black people," she shrugged. "So they had to go."
The nominees -- or should-have-been nominees -- were next in line for some abuse, as Hall expressed her disappointment "Space Jam 2" wasn't nominated for Best Visual Effects for its work on LeBron James' hairline.
"This year we saw a frightening display of how toxic masculinity turned into cruelty towards women and children," Hall continued, before correcting Sykes that she was not referring to Mitch McConnell, but "The Power of the Dog".
"You know, I've watched that move three times," Sykes announced, "and I'm halfway through it."
Wanda Sykes on "The Power of the Dog:" "I watched that movie three times and I'm halfway through it."https://t.co/1H1Y9jC9bl#oscars pic.twitter.com/EVlXmr0Rpc— ABC News (@ABC) March 28, 2022 @ABC
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Another person Sykes was not impressed with was Governors Award recipient Samuel L Jackson, who had a "few holes in his resume", including any rom coms (such as "Bitch, I Said I Love You") or musicals (like "Rent: Ho! I Said Where's My Rent?")
The trio concluded by promising everyone it was going to be a great night... and to the people of Florida, "We're gonna have a gay night!!"
"We're gonna have a great night tonight—and for you people in Florida, we're going to have a gay night."— ABC News (@ABC) March 28, 2022 @ABC
Oscar hosts address Florida's widely-criticized "don't say gay" bill. https://t.co/1H1Y9jC9bl#oscars pic.twitter.com/6Tmf3RcXAP
After losing her co-hosts for the first monologue, Schumer reintroducing herself by her Hollywood name: "Melissa McCarthy said no."
"Inspirational, isn't it?" she continued her assault on Tinsel Town. "After years of Hollywood ignoring women's stories, this year we finally got a movie about the incredible Williams sisters'..... dad."
Honoring all the marvelous couples in the room -- including siblings Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal! -- she also praised Leonardo DiCaprio for all his environmental work, so he could "leave behind a greener, cleaner planet for all his girlfriends."
"Leonardo DiCaprio—what can I even say about him? He's done so much to fight climate change and leave behind a cleaner, greener planet for his girlfriends." https://t.co/1H1Y9jC9bl#oscars pic.twitter.com/Ts12nlEuQe— ABC News (@ABC) March 28, 2022 @ABC
Her closing barb was probably her most biting, as she gave a shout out to "genius" Aaron Sorkin for his innovation in making "Meet The Ricardos" -- a film "about Lucille Ball without even a moment that's funny."
"Not your fault Nicole, you're great," she clarified.
"If you're Aaron Sorkin, how do you make a move about the most iconic female comedian? Not one laugh -- brilliant."
"It's like a biopic about Michael Jordan and just showing the bus trips between games."