"If I was continuing to go down the road I was I would either end up dead or doing something really, really stupid," she says as she opens up about her turbulent 2022 and battle with addiction with Vogue.
Cara Delevingne just confirmed fans had reason to worry about her in 2022, after paparazzi photos of her and reports about her behavior started painting a concerning picture of the 30-year-old model. Speaking with Vogue for a new cover story, she opened up about her turbulent year and her ongoing battle with addiction, after entering rehab in the fall.
While Delevingne is four-months sober as of January, when the interview was conducted, she spiraled out of control last year ahead of her 30th birthday. She explained that when concerning photos were snapped of her, she had just returned from a three-week stint in Ibiza, followed by a trip to Burning Man.
"That's when the pictures were taken. I was like, 'Wow, okay, this is bad.' At that point, there were a lot of people who were really worried, understandably so," she recalled in a video for Vogue. "I wasn't really worried though. That is the nature of the disease, that is what addiction is."
"I was not okay," she also told the publication. "It's heartbreaking because I thought I was having fun, but at some point it was like, Okay, I don't look well. You know, sometimes you need a reality check, so in a way those pictures were something to be grateful for."
Delevingne said that throughout her life she's dealt with alcohol abuse, insomnia, dyspraxia, had a "breakdown" at age 15 and depression. She hit a "low point" during Covid lockdown, after splitting from ex-girlfriend Ashley Benson. She says she then started partying hard as people started going back out into the world again, before she lost her grandmother last year, around the time of the Met Gala in May.
By August, she was in Ibiza for her birthday -- and while it should have been a celebration, she told Vogue she "would just kind of lock myself" away from her friends and "barely left" her bedroom. Her own aunt confirmed her family and friends were concerned, saying "there were plans to do something about" Cara's issues.
"All I know is if I was continuing to go down the road I was I would either end up dead or doing something really, really stupid. That was scary," said Delevingne, adding that she entered treatment in September. "Treatment was the best thing. I think I needed that community, I needed that support group," she told Vogue.
Delevingne also entered a 12-step program and weekly therapy sessions and is devoted to a long-term healing process.
"This process obviously has its ups and downs, but I've started realizing so much. People want my story to be this after-school special where I just say, 'Oh look, I was an addict, and now I'm sober and that's it.' And it's not as simple as that," she concluded. "It doesn't happen overnight ... I think this generation especially, we want things to happen quickly -- but I've had to dig deeper."
Read the full cover story here. Delevingne's issue of Vogue hits newsstands on March 21.