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"I just don't want to be alone. I don't want to die alone. I don't know what I'm doing right now," Spelling, who filed to divorce McDermott last year, said.
Tori Spelling is opening up about life as a single woman.
On the latest episode of her Misspelling podcast, she chatted with friend and guest Aubrey O'Day about her new reality, and how she's coping more than a year after her divorce from ex, Dean McDermott.
"I'm now 51 and single again with five kids," Spelling said. "So, I don't even know where I stand in the future."
"I just don't want to be alone. I don't want to die alone," she added. "I don't know what I'm doing right now."
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Re-entering therapy after not going for some time, the Beverly Hills, 90210 alum said she's going back as far as her childhood to better understand her "odd" relationship with men.
"I just started with a new therapist," Spelling said. "We're going all back way back to childhood because she's like, 'I don't know where this comes from,' but I have a very odd relationship with men."
Breaking down in tears as she looked ahead to her uncertain future, Spelling was met with a hug from O'Day, before Tori praised herself for her strength and resilience following her split from McDermott.
While Spelling officially filed to divorce the fellow actor in March 2024, they separated the year prior in June 2023.
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Tori Spelling Thinks It Was 'Disservice' to Kids to Stay with Dean McDermott So Long
View Story"You and I are strong," she said of her and O'Day. "They should sample my DNA when they f--king go to the next world war. Whatever the f--k I am, I'm resilient, but what does it mean at the end of the day?"
While Spelling, who shares children Liam, 18, Stella, 16, Hattie, 13, Finn, 12, and Beau, 8, with McDermott, hasn't said much about the couple's split in the year since their divorce, during a December 2024 episode of her podcast, she told listeners that despite the ups and downs in their marriage she will "never regret" staying with her ex-husband as long as she did, even if she now feels that she did a "disservice" to their kids by not leaving sooner.
"I always thought as bad as things might be between my partner and myself, it's better to have their dad in the house than in a different residence," Spelling said at the time. "I think that kept me in the relationship far too long. It ultimately, I feel, did a disservice to my kids."
"On my part, at least, the want of kids, just always wanting their parents together I think kept me from making -- what was outwardly a better decision for them than what they saw between two partners," she added.
