Penn Badgley Reveals Past Struggles with Body Dysmorphia: 'I Hated My Body'

In an new interview with The Guardian, the You star opens about his past struggles with body dysmorphia, childhood insecurities, and the part his Gossip Girl fame played in all of it.

"I know that I hated my body," the 38-year-old actor confessed, adding, "and simply wanted a different one."

Per the NHS, Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is "a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance."

Badgley explained that the mental health struggle hit especially hard after his parents' divorce, when he gained weight and started feeling increasingly isolated. The loneliness, he says, only fed into his warped self-image.

"There was just a period where, coming out of depression and isolation," Badgley shared. "I was jumping willfully into, but also being thrust into, this world where the more conventionally beautiful I seemed, the more successful I might be, the more value I might have."

But the problem wasn't just personal, it was cultural. He called out the Hollywood's obsession with looks, saying, "There's no way to get past the superficiality of this work. And if you recognize that, you can't help but recognize the superficiality of our culture."

The Gossip Girl alum didn't hold back when talking about the hit CW series either, which launched him into the spotlight alongside Blake Lively, Leighton Meester and Chace Crawford.

"What was that show other than aesthetic?" he said bluntly. "That was its thing -- the way we all looked."

And while fans may have loved Dan Humphrey, Badgley revealed he wasn't exactly a fan of the fame that came with it. "I didn't particularly love the superficial celebrity aspect of the way I was perceived," he shared.

As for what keeps him grounded these days, the actor said his family plays a big part.

With a 4-year-old son, James, and stepson Cassius, 15, with wife Domino Kirke (who's also expecting twins), Badgley says he's finally found what really matters.

"The simple stuff of life, like having a family, meaningful relationships with my friends," he said.

He also credits his spirituality with helping him push through the darker days.

"That is what allowed me to persevere through the disillusionment... and come back to it all, but with hopefully some kind of inner transformation," Badgley added.