Lea Michele Says Glee Cast 'Really Fractured So Much' After Cory Monteith's Death

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"When I watch it I can tell you exactly ... I'd be like 'Oh, that day I was sobbing in my dressing room,'" she said, recalling her experience on set.

Lea Michele is looking back on her time playing Rachel Berry on Glee -- and some of the heartbreaking moments she experienced on set.

While speaking on the Thursday, May 8, episode of the Therapuss with Jake Shane podcast, Michele admitted she wished fans knew "everything" that happened behind the scenes.

"We were all so young and everybody was growing up and falling in love and for me that was a huge part of the whole experience for me ... was my, this great love," she said recalling her relationship with the late Cory Monteith.

"It was so unbelievable that you would be watching the show and when I watch it I can tell you exactly ... I'd be like 'Oh, that day I was sobbing in my dressing room.' Or, 'That day was the best day in the world' ... But the only people that know all of that were the people who were in that room," she continued.

Michele was dating her Glee co-star at the time of his shocking death at 31-years-old due to accidental mixed drug toxicity, involving heroin and alcohol. Just months prior, Cory had completed a rehab stay but unfortunately relapsed. Since his passing in 2013, Michele has honored her late ex every year and has even gotten several tattoos dedicated to him.

Due to the show's popularity, the death of Monteith and the cast's reactions to it were incredibly public. Michele said grieving the loss of her boyfriend and cast member so publicly "was so sad" and "depressing."

"It was so unbelievable but I just had to keep going, I wasn't allowed to stop," she added, as the show kept going following the tragedy.

Shane then asked if grieving such a loss together helped the cast "band together."

"No, I think it really fractured so much. I mean again, I can't speak for everyone, I think in some ways it did for certain people, but I think that ... for me it was so hard to I just completely broke." She went on to thank the cast and particularly the crew for "holding me up so much."

She went on to say that the cast and crew held her "up so much" during that time.

The 38-year-old went on to marry Zandy Reich on March 9, 2019, in Napa, California. She still remains close with some of her cast members, including Dianna Agron and Darren Criss.

"To me it’s like there is such a comfort because we all really did go through something that only we will ever understand," she added, "So it’s just, I feel so safe with them and so comfortable -- family forever."