Chrissy Teigen Reveals Relapse in Sobriety From Alcohol: It's a 'F--king Beast'

On Thursday, the model took to Instagram to reveal that she relapsed after previously being sober from alcohol.

Teigen -- who previously shared in 2020 that she recommitted to sobriety after reading Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker -- posted a selfie of herself posing with Whitaker's book as she teased the author's appearance on Thursday's episode of her Self-Conscious podcast, and discussed her relationship with the "f--king beast that is alcohol."

"Oh man. I’ve been dreading today’s podcast release since the moment we shot it. And that has nothing to do with my incredible guest - @holly," Teigen, 39, began. "Holly Whitaker changed my life, changed my perspective and changed how I view the f--king beast that is alcohol."

"But to have to admit to all of you: I let it back into my life. to let a lot of you down, oh I feel it deeply," she continued. "I was so proud every time one of you told me on the street that holly and I made you want to rethink drinking, reframe drinking. I still am."

The Cravings author went on to admit that while she's not sure what she's "doing," she feels "better" when sober.

"The truth is, I don’t know what I'm doing. I one hundred percent know I like me better sober. I one hundred percent know I get more done, I absolutely feel better in my body without it," Teigen wrote. "And I am one hundred percent pissed that I can't be normal and have a cocktail with my husband on vacay without it turning into 8 and feeling like s--t. I'm tired of throwing up on a Tuesday. I don't wanna feel like I need a shot to talk to a crowd. I hate that the thought of maybe having a drink can consume me some days. So your rational mind is probably like 'OK THEN STOP, BITCH!' and god, do I f--king AGREE!"

Despite the challenges she's faced, Teigen admitted that her "relationship with the whole process of sobriety (and messing up) has changed for the better."

"I am deeply aware of where this can go if I let it. I guess my plan right now is to continue to be mindful with it," she continued. "I can go to a concert sober and have the greatest time ever. I can avoid absinthe at the Ren Faire and be so abbbbsolutely full of joy. Photos of my kid’s birthday parties are no longer me with bleary, sleepy drinking eyes. And I am proud of that."

"But I still know my relationship with alcohol just isn’t normal and never will be," Teigen added, before concluding her post, "Thank you for allowing me to figure it out openly in front of you all. Anyhow. This is for all the people who are figuring it out. And to the sober community, god I am still so, so proud of you. Until we meet again 😭."

Teigen's fans and celebrity pals took to the comments section of her post so express their support, including the media personality's husband, John Legend, who wrote, "Always proud of you."

Actress Jamie Pressly commented, "I hear you loud and clear and I am proud of you and I love you old friend. Your pure and total honesty is a breath of fresh air always. ❤️."

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Kyle Richards shared a heart emoji, while Vanderpump Rules alum Dayna Kathan added, "oh chrissy, i feel this caption in my bones. retweet to it all. ❤️."

Teigen -- who shares Luna, 9, Miles, 7, Esti, 2, and Wren, 1, with Legend -- has continued to be candid with her followers about her sobriety journey over the years, including celebrating milestones.

Teigen tried sobriety in 2017 but ultimately slipped back into drinking, and in December 2020, she recommitted after she received Whitaker's book for her 35th birthday. The mom of four celebrated six months of sobriety in January 2022, before marking "365 days" without alcohol that following July.

"not a drop of alcohol in 365 days! I miss feeling loopy and carefree sometimes, but to be honest toward the end, it didn’t give that fun feeling anymore anyhow," Teigen captioned an Instagram Reel at the time. "I drank to end crazy anxiety that later mostly went away when I - get this - quit drinking! sigh. anyhow I feel really good."

"sometimes I get really frustrated looking back on days I should remember way better than I do because of alcohol," she added. "Like when I drank cafe patron and fell asleep while an Outback Steakhouse chef taught me (my friends) how to make a bloomin onion at my house. I wish I was awake for that. Wish I remembered really any awards show lol. There are pictures from huge moments in life where my eyes just look…gone. Some are from real work shoots, some just beach days with the family. While I honestly STILL don’t know if I’ll never have a drink again, I do know I never want to be that way again. And for now, none is best. I’ll let the bad dreams come up and try to sort them out in therapy, without booze. Prayers for a blooming onion redo, @outback?? ❤️"

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, get help. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) provides 24/7, free, confidential support for people in distress.