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"My wife's always told me, even in my dark times, the one thing I've always been good at is being a father," he shared. "I never wanted to be a bad father."
AJ McLean is looking at life with a new lens after undergoing outpatient mental health treatment this summer.
The Backstreet Boy spent 10 weeks in an "intensive" outpatient program in Scottsdale, Arizona that focused on mental health, anxiety and more.
"This past summer, I was in Scottsdale, Arizona, for about 10 weeks. I have no shame in saying I was doing an intensive outpatient program for mental health, for depression, anxiety, trauma, all these things that I had never really taken the time to do for myself," McLean told Us Weekly Friday.
The 45-year-old pop star said he not only feels refreshed following the program, but better about himself than he ever has, adding, "I never really had time to kind of acclimate or to really, really find me, find my self-esteem, find my self-worth, and know that I have value."
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View StoryMcLean, who rose to stardom with the boyband at the age of 14, continued, "And now, today, I can look at myself in the mirror and I can tell myself, 'I love myself today.' I've been on a major health kick, and my kids now get to see me in a different way."
In addition to finding his self-esteem, McLean's children have served as major motivation for the singer to take care of his mental health.
McLean shares daughters Elliot, 10, and Lyric, 6, with estranged wife, Rochelle McLean. The pair announced they were temporarily separating in March after 11 years of marriage.
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View Story"My wife's always told me, even in my dark times, the one thing I've always been good at is being a father," he shared. "I never wanted to be a bad father."
McLean, who has since become and remained sober for quite some time, has been open about how substance abuse issues and his own family trauma impacted his life.
Digging deep into his childhood and early life, McLean shared that the outpatient program also helped him make amends with important people in his life, including his father, who left his family when the musician was just three-years-old.
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McLean revealed via Instagram on Friday that he and his dad had dinner together for the first time in 42 years.
"It was actually a really nice time," he told the outlet. "Being a father, truly -- being a Backstreet Boy is great -- being a father is the best job ever in the world. It's unlike anything else. So yeah, life is pretty damn good today."
