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"As I'm breathing, I'm just crying and crying and crying, and I need this. I really do," an emotional Kim admitted in a confessional after completing a screaming exercise, designed to help the cast let go. "I'm a f--king basket case."
Kim Zolciak's real-life drama takes center stage on MTV's Surreal Life: Villa of Secrets.
During the show's premiere Tuesday, Zolciak broke down amid her very public divorce from her husband, Kroy Biermann, telling her castmates she's been a "f--king basket case."
"As I'm breathing, I'm just crying and crying and crying, and I need this. I really do," an emotional Kim admitted in a confessional after completing a screaming exercise, designed to help the cast let go.
"I'm a f--king basket case," she added, unloading onto her star-studded cast of housemates, which include Josie Canseco, O.T. Genasis, Tyler Posey, Johnny Weir, Chet Hanks, Macy Gray and Ally Brooke.
The exercise helped the former Bravo reality star realize she's lacking the support she's been needing during this difficult time.
"I protect everybody else," Kim, who shares kids Brielle, 27, Ariana, 22, KJ, 13, Kash, 11, and 10-year-old twins Kaia and Kane with Kroy, noted, "and I don't feel like anybody's really protecting me, from my parents to my husband."
Later in a confessional, the 46-year-old said she was surprised she was able to let go and share her true feelings.
"I don't know how to let go," The Real Housewives of Atlanta alum said, "and then especially be that vulnerable in front of seven, I say strangers, but I feel safer with them than I do if I was to do that with Kroy. That's sad."
Elaborating further with her co-stars, Kim added, "The fact that I can let go here and feel safe here, not even at home, is just crazy. You know, I've been a mom since 18, so you gotta stay strong."
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Kim Zolciak Unsure What Future Holds with Kroy, Explains Why She Did Surreal Life Amid Divorce (Exclusive)
View StoryIn an interview with TooFab at the show's virtual junket, Kim detailed how her journey on the reality series helped her "refocus" on herself and gain "clarity" in the nearly one year since she and Kroy have filed for divorce.
"I needed to step away to gain some clarity and to kind of refocus on myself, and step outside of this home, and kind of just regroup, if you will," Kim shared.
"It wasn't easy for sure. It was hard to be away from my children, and there [were] things going on that I had to deal with throughout this entire process of filming which was stressful in itself, but I was able to kind of remove myself pretty quickly from you know, conversations with my attorney, and get right back into it," she added, referencing the rather messy back-and-forth, which has included the two calling the cops on each other on more than one occasion, legal and financial struggles, including multiple lawsuits due to alleged unpaid credit card bills and a war with the bank to stop them from foreclosing on their Georgia mansion. "These people made it super easy for me, it was almost like one big party there. It was just so much fun. It was a great, great, great break for me."
Kim also said that the show allowed her to show a "different side" of herself that others don't usually see.
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Why Chet Hanks Felt 'F--king Worthless' Growing Up as Tom Hanks' Son, Found 'Healing' on Surreal Life (Exclusive)
View Story"Just [being] with my family is amazing, but I'm a mom and I'm on as a mom, and then there's a different side of Kim that people don't get to see," Kim explained. "Nobody really knows what's going on behind the scenes here in this divorce."
And while last week, TMZ reported that Kim and Kroy have set a date for their divorce trial in November, Atlanta's Fulton County Superior Court is requesting they attempt to settle through mediation beforehand.
She continued, "I've remained quiet throughout this whole process intentionally and so this was my chance to kind of just breathe, kind of reconnect with Kim, if you will, and to then have seven other incredible humans that I actually instantly trusted, which is totally out of character for me, and just felt so comfortable with, made this experience -- no pun intended -- but surreal."
Surreal Life: Villa of Secrets airs Tuesdays 9 p.m. ET on MTV.