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Two college students get into it over a service one thinks is a waste of money -- while the other keeps digging themselves deeper into a hole after calling her friend poor.
An anonymous woman doesn't get why her friend is mad at her after she called her poor.
The college student shared her story to Reddit's infamous AITA ("Am I the A--hole") forum to see if she was somehow in the wrong here after the two women argued over a service offered by the university.
The OP (a.k.a. "the original poster") uses the service, but her friend thinks it's a waste of money.
Read on to find out what led to OP calling out her friend's financial situation, and where things stand now.
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OP established her story by noting that she, 20, and her friend, 21, are both students at a university. She explained, "I'm enrolled in the laundry program at school, where I pay a lump sum, and they do my laundry for me all year."
The program, she explained, is very popular at the school, with the laundy picked up weekly at her dorm. Her friend, however, is "weirdly obsessed" with the whole thing, according to OP, who said she "constantly comments on it for some reason."
"She always comes over and sees my bag, and has some random comment to say," wrote OP. "She’ll say, 'How could anyone pay for that?' To which I always say, 'Why would I ever do something I don’t want to, if I can just pay someone else to do it for me?'"
Why would I ever do something I don’t want to, if I can just pay someone else to do it for me?
OP then mused, "I'm wondering if she's like this to everyone, because that would explain why she has few friends. Almost everyone I know uses the laundry program. Her unwanted comments make me like her less."
The breaking point came after one comment too many for OP. She wrote that her friend said to her, "What a waste of money. The laundry program is ridiculously expensive, and no one can afford that."
"I simply said that I don't find it expensive at all, and that she finds it expensive because she's poor. I'm not, so I'll continue paying for the program," OP wrote. She said her friend is now "furious that I called her poor. But she is. It's just a fact."
So she wants to know, "AITA for reminding my friend that just because she’s poor, doesn’t mean I am?"
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OP wasn't finding much in the way of sympathy in the comments, though her friend wasn't received all that well, either. The top commenter argued ESH ("Everyone Sucks Here"), writing, "She clearly is jealous and resentful, and you clearly are un-empathetic, snotty and not caring or savvy enough to handle this with any wisdom or grace."
"Pointing out someone's lack of resources isn't kind. Did you earn that money or it is your parents who actually pay?" they asked OP before adding, "I'm surprised you have any friends, too."
"My thoughts exactly," echoed another Redditor. "I really hate when offspring count their parent's wealth as their own and likewise hold a parent's lack of wealth against someone." Yet another commented, "Children of the wealthy - born on third base and think they hit a triple."
I’m a college student. My parents are supposed to 'subsidize' me.
When one person quipped that OP is "poor too lol your parents just subsidize you," OP shot back, "No, socioeconomic status is based on your family, unless they disown you or something. We're upper middle class. And I've had savings/investments in my own name since childhood."
She argued, "My parents take good care of me and would never let me pay. I've always suspected my friend is jealous because her parents are unsupportive, and she doesn't like them. But I feel like she should know better than to tell others what they can afford. It's rude to talk about money at all, honestly."
With all the attacks about her lack of awareness to the privilege afforded her through her parents, with one going so far as to say she's a poor person "subsidized" by her parents, OP commented, "I'm a college student. My parents are supposed to 'subsidize' me. They wouldn't be very good parents if they weren't. And I've had plenty of savings/investments in my own name since childhood."
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View StoryOne person noted that OP said "in my own name" multiple times, which they took as "meaning you contributed zero to those savings/investments, they were just given to you." Another tried to explain to OP, "That's called privilege. Not everyone is as fortunate. There are social determinants of wealth, same with a person’s health."
With most people throwing around the word "entitled" to describe OP, some suggested she could have handled the situation with her friend better, without resorting to calling her poor.
"This is not hard. 'I hate doing laundry and I'm lucky I have the money to hire somebody else. I got it, you think it's a waste of money. I don't care what you think about my laundry. Stop giving me s--t about it,'" wrote one. "You can shut her down hard without calling her poor."
Children of the wealthy - born on third base and think they hit a triple
One person reminded OP that "college is the first time they're exposed to truly different lifestyles, economic class structure, and upbringings. You could both learn from each other. Neither of you chose the backgrounds you come from."
"I was going to go with ESH but after reading your incredibly entitled and self-absorbed comments want you to know that you are leaning towards YTA and boy are you in for a shock in life," wrote one Redditor.
"I'm guessing OP is one of those really despicable people that says, 'I'm just being honest, or the 'No offense, but you are poor' type girl," commented another. "She hides behind the 'I'm just being honest and stating a fact' because she thinks it covers her cruelty. It doesn't."
The bottom line for most was, "Your friend sucks for harping on this issue, but you suck for calling her poor." And many said they started off leaning ESH, "but OP is so insufferable in the comments I'm going YTA."
What do you think?