ABC
"Tonight's monologue is for the Republicans," Kimmel began, before listing all the reasons he believes they shouldn't vote for Donald Trump, using Trump's own words against him while saying he's "completely preoccupied with nonsense."
It's no secret Jimmy Kimmel is voting for Kamala Harris -- and last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, he urged other Republicans planning to vote for Donald Trump to do the same.
Tuesday's show kicked off with a 19-minute monologue dedicated to the right, with the host starting by saying, "We're gonna do something different from what we usually do."
"Tonight's monologue is for Republicans. If you have someone in your life who is planning to vote for Trump or is thinking about it, I would like you to send this to a Republican you love and respect with a request, ask them to watch this whole thing as a personal favor to you," he said, asking his many Democratic viewers to reach out to the other side.
He proved the monologue was for Republicans by opening with "a joke about a Democrat for a change," poking fun at Joe Biden, before getting to the meat of his speech.
"For those of you who don't normally watch, I'm Jimmy Kimmel. Maybe you remember me from The Man Show. We had a pretty good relationship back then — the beer, the trampolines. Good times, right? We had fun," he continued. "But now times are less fun. We're a week away from an election and we are very divided, and not just because of Donald Trump, because of people like, if I'm being honest, me. I do a lot of mocking and belittling, and it isn't always productive."
Admitting he is "biased against Donald Trump," he then laid out the "good reasons" why is is in the first place. Before that, however, he prefaced that if anyone watching was "one of those people who think Democrats are controlling the weather or Beyoncé eats baby skin," they're lost causes and "this is not for you."
He then began to use Trump's own words against him, pulling up quotes from interviews, rallies and speeches while telling viewers "I think you might be surprised when you hear them." Some of the footage showed Trump's lack of plan when it comes to health care and child care and his belief school's will give children sex change operations without their parents' consent -- with Kimmel adding, "He's completely preoccupied with nonsense."
"Donald Trump is the exact meeting point between QAnon and QVC. You remember when Ronald Reagan was selling high-tops in the 1980s? No, you don't, because he wasn't. Presidents don't sell products. Except for one, who sells a lot of them," he continued, before pulling up footage of Trump trying to sell coins, cards and sneakers.
Kimmel then shifted to Trump repeating baseless claims that immigrants from Haiti are eating pets in Ohio.
"Is this what we want from a president? Someone who blames everything on immigrants, forgetting that two of his three wives were immigrants?" asked Kimmel. "Do we only have room for hot immigrants? Either he doesn't care about the truth or he has a hard time understanding what the truth is, both very bad options."
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View Story"Not to mention the 34 felony convictions. Will he be president from jail? I mean, how do you see that working?" he then wondered.
He ended the monologue by pointing out the sheer number of prominent Republicans who have come out against Trump, including generals, senators, his own Chief of Staff, his Vice President, Mike Pence, and "Dick f--king Cheney."
"How much more do you need?" he asked, before telling anyone who still wasn't sure to watch Trump's recent rally at Madison Square Garden and his podcast interview with Joe Rogan.
He then closed the opening by bringing out Guillermo, his sidekick. "He is an immigrant. He became a US citizen," he said, as the two toasted over glasses of beer. "God bless America."
