Once again, the judges were shooting for the moon with guesses like Barack Obama and Beyonce, but we're keeping it real here.
So "The Masked Singer" was a surprise hit last week as we all fought our good sense and got pulled down its rabbit hole of insanity.
You know you've been thinking about who is behind those various masks all week, and you knew you were coming back this week to see the final six singers who make up this wackadoodle reality competition show. But don't worry, this is a no judgment zone, as we're here, too. There's even a crazy Rabbit.
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View StoryThe show itself is also a no judgment zone because these judges may be the absolute worst at their jobs of any reality show in the history of reality television. Honestly, it sometimes looks like their making their guesses with masks on, and earplugs in.
This #TheMaskedSinger show a trip. And the judges have the worst guesses ever.
@JmarksPHD
Bee: You can call me Queen B
Judge: Must be Beyoncé
Me: pic.twitter.com/u85n5PpLSM
Of course they totally threw out Beyonce for the Bee this week, because it's low-hanging fruit. Other guesses this week from Ken Jeong, Jenny McCarthy, Nicole Scherzinger, and Robin Thicke include Barack Obama, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears and man do they really want a Kardashian to be on this show.
Not gonna lie, so do we. But it's not happening.
Once again, the weakest performer of the night got the boot, but we're going to make you power through the terrible (and occasionally good) guesses for everyone before we reveal who it is. We can do this because it was the most obvious contestant of all twelve of them.
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View StoryRabbit
Oh, Rabbit, you have an amazing stage presence, but you're not as young as you used to be.
His introductory package said he pops up everywhere and he's used to singing in synch, which only fuels the boy band theory and makes us think of ... NSYNC. Yes, we totally think it's that obvious. Plus, he totally said "It's gonna be me" at one point.
The show's website adds the clue, "His services are sometimes available for rent."
Robin Thicke threw out NSYNC member Joey Fatone, which just might mean the celebrity panel guesses are going to get a little stronger. Ken Jeong followed up on that vibe with Lance Bass and even Justin Timberlake, but come on man. JT is not going to do this show.
Sometimes the panel gets a little excited and forgets that it has to be somebody who fits all the clues and the voice and would do this show. That rules out almost all of the world's biggest stars. And sorry, Jenny McCarthy we're not feeling Boyz II Men for this one, either.
Other guesses from social media include Donnie Wahlberg, Joey McIntyre and one poor soul actually thinks it might be Taye Diggs. That's no worse than the panel guessing magician Criss Angel.
When they said the Rabbit is Chris Angel #TheMaskedSinger pic.twitter.com/24hbF5mDQx
@DakotaFuqua97
The Internet also considered Backstreet Boys' AJ McLean as he's worn a mask and straitjacket, but the best overall guess has to be Fatone. NSYNC totally wore straitjackets in the "I Drive Myself Crazy" video. Plus, he's absolutely a ham (another clue), cracking jokes and being ridiculous all the time.
If it's not Fatone, it's totally gotta be bandmate JC Chasez, who famously wore a straitjacket on his "Schizophrenic" album cover. Either way, we're feeling pretty good that it's someone from N*SYNC who is not Justin Timberlake.
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View StoryAlien
We're with everyone else on being a little stumped by this one because this diminutive powerhouse comes from a famous family (that appears to have five key members) and grew up in the public eye with many sisters but there's, like, no way a Kardashian does this show.
That didn't stop America from thinking Kardashian -- so maybe we're wrong about that -- with plenty of guesses coming in for Kendall, Kylie and Kourtney. Ken Jeong even jumped on the bandwagon, picking Kourtney, the smallest of the sisters.
If the alien is one of the kardashians it'll be so iconic #TheMaskedSinger pic.twitter.com/khwZGtvMa1
@tiffaanyroseexo
On top of that, she had pretty capable vocals on Portugal. The Man's "Feel It Still." Her stage presence was lacking, though, in that she mostly stood, walked or swished her hips back and forth. Don't get us wrong, it was totally working for Ken.
The panel also were thinking about models, with Robin throwing out Bella Hadid, or even the Spice Girls, as the five bees could represent a girl group. But we'd be surprised if a Spice Girl moved so little during a performance. Then, the outfit got them thinking Britney Spears and ... what?
Did they really suggest the Alien could be Britney Spears? #TheMaskedSinger pic.twitter.com/CPV2AE2ix1
@theBrittanyAR
Another solid guess is Latoya Jackson, who certainly comes from a famous family, but she only has two sisters. Still, the Jackson 5 being the iconic centerpiece of her massive musical family and her diminutive size make her the best guess we've heard so far.
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View StoryRaven
This former talk show host -- or guest host at the least -- gave plenty of clues to her identity. She recently suffered a tragic loss and is honoring her beloved by performing on this show. Known for her sunny disposition, she has more recently found beauty in darkness.
"Don't cry, baby this one's for you," she wrapped her package and those closing words always seem to be the most pointed clues. Her costume has a cage around her head, but is spreading her wings. The internet clue is, "The higher the hair, the closer to God."
The talk show angle and her saying she'd listened to other people's stories rather than tell her own got the panel thinking people like Sally Jessy Raphael, Sherri Shepherd and even Star Jones. Social media piled on by adding Meghan McCain, Queen Latifah, Rosie O'Donnell and even Carnie Wilson, which is a great guess.
But it also got Robin Thicke thinking that maybe it was a professional wrestler because they're ... known for listening to other people's stories? What show are these guys paying attention to? Sometimes we really wonder.
Raven: "All my life I've listened to other people's stories"
@ChrisToTheW
Robin Thicke: ohhh a wrestler maybe?#TheMaskedSinger pic.twitter.com/55UuBUbv2Q
But the one that feels the most right is former talk show host, singer and one-time star of the Broadway musical "Hairspray," Ricki Lake. She also lost her ex-husband in 2017 and starred in the movie "Cry-Baby," making this one seem almost a lock.
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View StoryPineapple
Honestly, this one seemed like the most obvious choice of all twelve singers. The Michigan license plate nod to "That '70s Show," the shout-out to "Up in Smoke," the weed references, laid back vibe and the fact he said "man" in the package. Who else could it be but Tommy Chong?
He also talked about battling a life-threatening disease, and he's pushed cancer into remission twice already in his life. He was charming, funny and so very mellow even through his performance. There were really no other guesses for us after watching this performance.
That didn't stop the panel from coming up with some ridiculous ideas of their own, like Jenny McCarthy suggesting Willie Nelson (not the voice) and even Barack Obama because of the Hawaiian connection.
Yes Barack Obama was like "you know what Michelle, now that I'm no longer President I want to fulfill my real dream. I want to dress up as a pineapple and talk/sing on a singing show against other random masked famous ppl!" #TheMaskedSinger #thepineapple
@mAm_1313
Really? Barack Obama? The former president? Nicole Scherzinger didn't do much better when she came up with Adam Sandler (another distinctive voice) and Kid Rock (a professional singer). The internet came up with their own wacky guesses like Gary Busey, Tracy Morgan and George Lopez.
At least Jenny almost redeemed herself by picking Cheech & Chong, but she went with Cheech Marin ... you know, the guy with the thick Mexican accent. Come on!
Poodle
First of all, straight up, no playing, the Poodle can rock the house. Pat Benatar's "Heartbreak" is some kind of jam and she just slayed that.
Describing herself as highly intelligent, the package also told us that she likes to be on stage and take on characters and that she comes from a musical family, as well as San Francisco. Like she had serious 415 pride.
She also said that while she comes from a musical family, she's actually known for a different talent. The rainbow also featured prominently in her video package, as well as her passion for free speech and nods to stand-up, making the panel think stand-up comics.
And yet, Nicole Scherzinger still threw out film icon Jane Fonda because that makes sense. And Richard Simmons was just wishful thinking from the panel. Jenny had a better guess with SF native and comedian Ali Wong. "I'm here for your honor," was the random clue she gave the panel, while the website adds, "You know I got soul."
Wtf poodle "I'm here for your honor" #TheMaskedSinger pic.twitter.com/O8F5f6gf7X
@JbJaida
The internet agreed with Jenny that it might even be RuPaul, though that is one towering drag queen and Poodle just ain't that tall. Other guesses include Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin and even fitness guru Jillian Michaels. Must be those legs.
Oddly enough -- and totally defying our theory that famous people won't do this show, Miley Cyrus got a lot of votes, too, though we'd be more inclined to consider Noah. Another good guess is Rashida Jones, who is a comedian from a musical family.
But the main consensus on this one seems to be that we really have no idea and nothing in the package was enough to make us feel super-confident with any guesses. Which is pretty frustrating.
Bee
First of all, the Bee was an amazing performer, and had a diva vibe to her. She then gave the best hint of the night when she revealed that she'd been singing since the 1950s!
When the bee said fifties #themaskedsinger pic.twitter.com/cI7FZR5srF
@KaiWvy
That immediately means the people guessing Mary J. Blige were way off. Also way off was Jenny McCarthy, who guessed Beyonce because of course she did. In her defense, it was before the '50s reveal, but it was still a horrible, no good, very bad guess.
The package added more clues, including that while we can call her queen, empress also suits her. But mainly it was about her being a legendary performer from another generation hoping to connect with a new one.
But we can't get past the "empress" comment, because we have an Empress of Soul, and it is none other than Gladys Knight. And that could have totally been Ms. Knight up there, which would be a huge get for this show.
Robin Thicke also threw out Diana Ross, while Nicole Scherzinger suggested Dionne Warwick, but this seemed more like them trying to remember old-school soul singers than legitimate guesses. Robin is the same guy who also said Cardi B at one point. Really, man? And then suggested that Lil Kim is the original queen bee? In what world is this the case?
Wait, Lil Kim is the original queen bee? #TheMaskedSinger pic.twitter.com/hirCReLgBi
@emilylongeretta
The internet considered Jennifer Lewis, Tina Turner (but that's not her voice) and totally lost the '50s clue because they were also thinking about Queen Latifah and Missy Elliot. But our money's on the Empress of Soul, who totally proved that she can still slay in her 70s.
Elimination
The Pineapple was Tommy Chong. Because of course it was.
"The Masked Singer" airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. ET on Fox.
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