Late Night Reacts to Trump Death Rumors, Reappearance Signaling 'Six More Weeks of Dictatorship'

Among them was Jimmy Kimmel, who'd been away on his usual summer hiatus for the past couple of months, meaning he had the most to catch up on. This included the shock cancellation of The Late Show, which he joked about at the top of his show, saying, "Due to a clerical error at the White House ... I am back to work."

"I'm happy we still have a show, too," he said after a lengthy standing ovation from his enthusiastic crowd, before diving into the state of the world in his absence, including the president's apparent war on the late-night hosts, including Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers, and Jimmy Fallon.

He talked about how after CBS's firing of Colbert, Trump jumped onto Truth Social to share that "the word is, and it's a strong word at that, Jimmy Kimmel is NEXT to go in the untalented Late Night Sweepstakes,'" before going on to call out Fallon and the rest of the "NO TALENT" late-night lineup.

Kimmel called the news "alarming, because I don't know if you know this, Jimmy Kimmel is me."

As Trump called for the cancellation of all their shows, Kimmel quipped, "Oh, you delicate chubby little teacup. Did we hurt your feelings? You want us to be canceled because we make jokes about you? I thought you're against cancel culture, I thought that was like their whole thing. When did you become so woke?"

Kimmel then proceeded to run down a list of many of Trump's antics over the summer, before landing on the latest reason to "make jokes about" him. "There was a rumor making the rounds this weekend that Trump was dead because he hadn't been in front of a camera for a few days," Kimmel said.

"That's how much he's in front of a camera," he marveled. "When we don't see him there, we assume he must be dead."

"For the record, Donald Trump is very much alive, okay," Colbert said on The Late Show, marveling that all it took for these rumors to start was for Trump's schedule to be cleared for more than a couple of days.

"Because he was out of public view, and because when he is in public view -- eugh -- the internet went crazy," Colbert said, "'Is Trump dead' and 'Trump dead' were among the top searches on Google,' while the top search on Bing was, as always, where to find Google."

He then noted that Trump took to social media on Sunday to post simply, "GOOD NIGHT!!!"

"Just a totally normal 79-year-old man saying good night to the internet," Colbert joked. "It's like that famous children's book, 'GOOD NIGHT!!!' 'Good night, Reddit. Good night, X. Good night to the website where I watch the sex.'"

Colbert also wasn't that impressed with the White House's attempt to quell speculation by reporting that the president's music was playing in the Rose Garden. Calling it "not the strongest proof of life," he pretended to be a doctor, saying, "'Yes, nurse, I do see that flatline, but the patient is clearly alive 'cause his iPhone is playing, 'Papa Loves Mambo.'"

Trump also posted at one point over the weekend, "NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE," which Meyers absolutely not buying over at Late Night. "Right a way we know you're lying," he said. "No 79-year-old has ever, ever never felt better. When any 79-year-old says I've never felt better, you just assume they're being sarcastic, or they're in cognitive decline."

He went on to make it clear, "And by the way, no judgment. I'm 51 and my main hobby is thinking about how much better I used to feel."

"If I so much as step on a LEGO, I'm in a walking boot for three days," he added. "I hurt my neck last week from a dream I had!"

At the same time, Meyers said with a grin, "Can I just say, in all sincerity, the week he was off camera, I never felt better. I felt great, I had that RFK Jr. energy. You know that energy where you just wanna go do push-ups in your jeans."

The disappearance, of course, didn't last, with Trump reemerging for his announcement about relocating Space Command to Huntsville, Alabama. Over on The Tonight Show, Fallon said, "After not being seen in public for several days, today, he appeared in the Oval Office, which means it's six more week of dictatorship."

Kimmel grabbed footage of when Trump was asked about the speculation, which he said he knew nothing about, freezing the shot to look at all the people standing behind the president. "Who's the only one smiling in that room?" Kimmel asked. "That's right, good old J.D. He hears the words 'Trump's dead,' he lights up like a Christmas tree."

Fallon added that he, too, looks to the vice president for clarity. "I'll know something's actually wrong with Trump when J.D. Vance starts stocking up on eyeliner," he explained. "That's when I know it's real."

As for Meyers, he's not surprised people went into speculation mode after just a few days of not seeing Trump on their screens. "The dude is on camera more than an eagle's nest at the zoo," he said. " In fact, this is true, he carries a tiny little TV camera in his pocket everywhere he goes."

"It's like an EpiPen, you know, in case he's accidentally exposed to peace and quiet and suffers an allergic reaction," Myers continued. "'Oh my god, I'm sitting with my own thoughts, I'm starting to become introspective and reflect. I'm reflecting on my shortcomings, must turn on little red light.'"

Despite the speculation, though, Kimmel shared that he doesn't think we're ever going to be in a post-Trump era. As in ever. "Donald Trump will never die. He's like Dracula. He's going to keep sucking the life out of us forever," he joked, adding, "There'll be no more trans in Transylvania when he's done."