"Scaramucci's nickname is 'The Mooch,' which already sounds like the name of a cow STD," Oliver said Sunday night. "'So, uh, neither one of us has been with anyone else, and yet somehow I have The Mooch. Is there anything you need to tell me?'"
The late-night comedian went in on the new White House communications director for a profane, on-the-record conversation he had with a New Yorker reporter last week. During the phone call, Scaramucci suggested President Donald Trump's Chief Strategist Steve Bannon performed oral sex on himself. He also called former Chief of Staff Reince Priebus "a f-cking paranoid schizophrenic."
Oliver took full advantage of his HBO privileges to quote the exact words Scaramucci said to New Yorker reporter Ryan Lizza.
"Scaramucci said, 'I'm not Steve Bannon. I'm not trying to suck my own c-ck," Oliver said without censoring himself. "That's what he said, to a reporter, on the record. There's just no point in anyone being coy about this anymore."
Oliver continued, "And that is where we are six months into the Trump administration, where the president -- who has no major legislative accomplishments, no conception of even the very basics of how his job works and a communications director who answers the question, 'What if a tanning bed was a person?' -- and yet, frustratingly, there is no public indication from Trump that he thinks he's doing anything wrong."
Oliver also slammed Scaramucci quoting disgraced Penn State football coach Joe Paterno in a CNN interview. "Act like you've been there before. Act with honor and dignity," Scaramucci said.
"It is a little loaded quoting Joe Paterno, particularly in the context of 'everyone needs to keep their mouths shut,'" Oliver joked. "And the crazy thing is that whole 'act like you've been there' quote has been attributed to multiple coaches, including Vince Lombardi, and yet The Mooch still picks the guy with a child sex abuse scandal and dismissal section on his Wikipedia page, which is just weird."