As Lisa Rinna puts it, "It's so fun being an observer of this petty bullsh-t."
The ladies of Beverly Hills brought their special brand of high maintenance to Berlin on Tuesday night's "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills."
And away we go...
"I hate to draw back, but you know, Kyle, in New York, I was really hurt by you," Dorit said to Kyle Richards. "The night of my Bella party, for whatever reason, you felt the need to go to Lisa and tell her about conversations that you and I had."
Kyle was already annoyed by the conversation, but Vanderpump chiming in to help Dorit make her case really put her over the edge.
Kyle and Vanderpump then got into the same argument they've been having for far too long now: "Why didn't you defend me?" and "Why do you hold me to a different standard?" and "Why are you not a good friend to me?"
As Lisa Rinna put it, "It's so fun being an observer of this petty bullshit."
"I don't ever wanna feel that you would ever wanna create an issue between her and I," Dorit said to Kyle.
"OK, but you keep making points that you don't really have room to talk," Kyle fired back. "You don't think I felt bad with what was clear was being made an issue with Erika [Girardi] and me? That made me feel bad, so we're saying the exact same f-cking thing."
In swooped Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave with her logic (that's not actually conducive to good reality television): "We're gonna talk in circles. If you guys don't want things being repeated about other people, don't say it."
"Teddi, stop," Vanderpump interrupted. "This is different to the new conversation." Dorit added that she didn't feel like she needed a "mediator."
It was all very confusing.
Rinna took a break from silently observing the drama to tell Teddi she didn't have to stop if she didn't want to.
"Why is it OK for Lisa Vanderpump to have [Dorit's] back, and it's not OK for me to have Kyle's back?" Teddi asked. Dorit then brought up the beach house incident and PantyGate -- two issues that should be dead and buried by this point.
As Erika put it in her confessional, "It's very difficult to follow Dorit's line of thinking sometimes. It will be one subject, and then all of a sudden it'll shift to another, but yet comparisons are still being drawn, but I can't tell from which, so it ends up being like this whole incestuous ball of misinformation. Fake news!"
The next day, Kyle and Vanderpump had some sort of meeting about the state of their friendship, but as usual, nothing was really resolved. Lisa then left the country, avoiding whatever drama will go down next week when the rest of the women decide to try their luck with another boat trip.
"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.