Mommy called Auntie Kylie's pregnancy the best-kept secret of our generation. Interesting. I didn't know it was still considered a secret if it makes it to TMZ.
The woman behind Nori's Black Book -- a viral parody Instagram account written entirely in the voice of Kim Kardashian's sassy 5-year-old daughter -- is bringing her talents to TooFab.
Each week, "Nori" will be recapping new episodes of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and giving us HER take on all the family drama.
(NOTE: The below was not actually written by North West.)
'KUWTK' Recap: 'North West' Breaks Down Kim and Kourtney FIGHT Over True's Guardianship
View StoryOn Sunday's episode of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians," we said goodbye to our family dog, Gabbana. Gabbana has been a member of the family for years and has seen it all. Her tell-all book would've been epic! Unfortunately, Gabbana struggled with her health throughout the episode until the inevitable happened. Seeing Gabbana makes me wonder, "What ever happened to my dog, Sushi?"
We also said hello to yet another member of this family, Stormi. Mommy called Auntie Kylie's pregnancy the best-kept secret of our generation. Interesting. I didn't know it was still considered a secret if it makes it to TMZ. If you were one of those people who didn't know Auntie Kylie was pregnant, I'm sure you're the same person who thought her lips were real.
While shopping for baby clothes, Kris told Auntie Khloe that Auntie Kourt had been mean to her lately. Surprise, surprise -- Auntie Kourt was being a difficult jerk. Seems to be the theme of this season. Now, when it comes to business, I've been known to give Kris hell, but otherwise, I pretty much leave her alone. Auntie Kourt, on the other, hand is determined to make every aspect of Kris' life a living nightmare.
Later on, Auntie Kourt and everyone's favorite "why are you here" girl, Larsa Pippen, popped up at Auntie Khloe's Good American photo shoot. Auntie Kourt explained to Auntie Khloe that the topic of Kris had been coming up during sessions with her therapist (who I'm convinced is the cashier at the Pressed Juicery). It turns out that Auntie Kourt has betrayal issues because Kris cheated on her dad. Of course, I'm not a therapist, but if I had to guess, I would say Auntie Kourt has betrayal issues because she dated and had kids with a serial cheater, but what do I know. She also said she was certain she would never go to Kris if she had a problem, which is ironic because I've heard Penelope say the same thing about Auntie Kourt.
In a later scene, Kris and Auntie Khloe discussed Auntie Kourt's anger and her delusions about her childhood being bad. Kris also revealed that Auntie Kourt abused her when she was a teenager -- and she has the scars to prove it. I still don't know why everyone is putting up with Auntie Kourt's bad attitude when she contributes the least to the brand.
After a family dinner, Kris and Auntie Khloe had a sit-down with Auntie Kourt and confronted her about the way she had been treating Kris. Auntie Khloe told Auntie Kourt that the memory of her childhood was warped and that she was focusing only on certain things, like Kris' affair. Auntie Kourt insisted she was not dwelling on Kris' affair and that she was fine. Auntie Khloe urged her to take it easy on Kris regardless of how she remembered her childhood. I'm sure I'll be saying the same thing to P in about 30 years.
After a chat with Auntie Khloe, Auntie Kourt decided to have a one-on-one conversation with Kris to talk about her resentment toward her. Before you ask, yes, Auntie Kourt ended up crying. If you're keeping score, she has cried in almost every episode this season. Kris said she just wanted Auntie Kourt to be happy. Auntie Kourt said that, moving forward, she would try to express her emotions when she gets upset instead of being a jerk to everyone. (This has yet to be seen, by the way.)
Auntie Kourt showed up to Mommy's workout to inform her that Auntie Kylie had gone into labor. You would think with the excitement of Kylie giving birth, Auntie Kourt wouldn't have had time to be in my business, but no. Auntie Kourt felt it was her duty to tell Mommy that I was eating candy. She is so bothered by me, and it's pathetic.
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View StoryAt the end of the episode, Auntie Kylie gave birth to Stormi and made it out of the hospital with no paparazzi photos or reports. Kris said Auntie Kylie had a positive birthing experience and that she was the one who delivered Stormi. I'm surprised Jordyn didn't deliver Stormi, but then again, she is raising her.
Meet me back here next week when I recap Episode 8 of my show.
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