"As I was walking, a puma crosses my path and immediately I just, like, lock eyes with it," Peter Weber tells the contestants when they ask what happened.
With all of the craziness and drama going on already this season on "The Bachelor," we almost forgot about the biggest thing to happen even before the season premiered.
The Bachelor himself, Peter Weber, suffered some kind of freak accident that left with a facial injury, as revealed way back in October, but because of the hush-hush nature of the ABC reality series production, fans were left to speculate and wonder.
Did he jump over a fence? Fall down after jumping out of a limo? Was he fending off Hannah B. again? Was it a piloting accident?
Unfortunately and somewhat shockingly, cameras weren't rolling when Peter was injured, leaving audiences and the women of the show to be equally perplexed when he stepped off a helicopter with a bandage across his forehead.
When asked what happened, Peter said, "I was doing a little exploring, and I noticed this volcano, so I found a trail to take me up to it, to the top. And as I was walking, a puma crosses my path and immediately I just, like, lock eyes with it. And my animal instinct took over, and I just did what had to be done."
So yeah, that was a lie.
As revealed back in October, and as Peter admitted after having his fun with the ladies, "When you hear what happened, it's ridiculous. It's bad, though. I was walking out of the [hotel] lobby the other day -- this is a true story."
We know it's true because producers actually took the time to provide a dramatic re-enactment of the events (probably kicking themselves the whole time that they didn't actually catch it on camera). For the record, we'd like a dramatic re-enactment of the puma fight, too.
Peter explained that he simply walked into a golf cart while holding a glass in his hand. "As I hit my head, I then shattered the glass in my head," he said, conceding. "It just sounds ridiculous. I freakin' stabbed myself in the head. I have 22 stitches. Like, I will never forget this experience, ever. For the rest of my life, I will be reminded of it."
Peter said he didn't feel anything, but told Entertainment Tonight after the incident that the aftermath looked like a "murder scene" due to all the bleeding.
"I ended up finding out later on how bad it was. I've seen the first picture and I was like, oh my god, I'll never look the same again. The plastic surgeon, he took care of me. He did a good job."
None of that messiness really made it into the episode, which really played the whole thing off as a fairly minor incident. After all, they were in Costa Rica and it was time to get down to some good times and hard decisions, right?
The first of those happened way before Costa Rica, though, as Alayah got turned around and escorted right back out the door so she wouldn't have to deal with any of "this," which we can only assume is the entirety of the show itself. If it's the drama and the nonsense and the lies and the backstabbing ... yeah, that's "The Bachelor."
Finally, Peter got to the rose ceremony we were supposed to get last week and reminded viewers that there were women in the house named Deandra, Kiarra and Savannah ... just in time to send them home. And that took us to Costa Rica, with production saving airfare on four tickets.
Sydney opened up during her one-on-one with Peter, revealing her struggles growing up mixed race and with limited financial resources, and how she missed out on school dances and was bullied and harassed. Kelsey, on the other hand, forgot what show she was on, revealing that she's insecure about Peter dating other people.
We're not sure how she thought she was going to be able to pull off dating him alone within the format of "The Bachelor," but it's remarkable that at least one person (and often more than one) seems to have the same fears and insecurities while participating on this franchise.
She proceeded to tell Peter she loved him, got called out for drinking herself into a sad stupor over his date with Sydney ("I did that once!" she shouted to Tammy about it). She later came clean to Peter after his second one-on-one with Kelley and scored a rose for her troubles. The date ladies had also gotten roses for opening up to him (and in Kelley's case, a lizard).
Hannah Ann during the group date, so that was four already handed out. After the ceremony, it was the end of the road for Lexi and Shiann, with the latter offering Peter a tip: some of the women aren't being totally genuine with him.
Okay, this is "The Bachelor." Someone's there to launch their reality career, someone's there to promote their music, someone's there to -- the bottom line is with each passing season, it's getting harder and harder to find the people who might actually be there to find love.
Peter's journey continues with another shot this week as "The Bachelor" doubles up with a special Wednesday edition at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.