"This s--- is unbelievable forever."
Ryan Dorsey marked what would have been Naya Rivera's 35th birthday by visiting her grave.
The actor, who was married to the "Glee" star from 2014-2018, shared a photo of the former couple's son Josey with his late mother on Wednesday, along with a lengthy caption about his visit to her resting place.
Waiting for your permission to load the Instagram Media.
"Made the visit today to see you, to spend some time. Up the hill I went, memories flashing through my mind as I drive," he wrote. "The end is inevitable for all of our lives, passing other people doing the same, I see some wiping tears out of their eyes."
"Approaching where you rest, bouquet of daisies and baby breath. Trying to hold it together, feeling all I feel, eyes getting wet still can’t believe it's real," he continued. "Step by step walking by each marker it's all so surreal."
"Getting closer gritting my teeth trying to keep it together ... I look up in the sky and notice the weather," Dorey's poetic post went on. "I suppose trying to distract my mind but reality comes back quick nobody knows…why. Why you had to leave us behind… I hope it gets easier as time goes by, but forever is forever, and I’ll never know why."
Ryan Dorsey Writes to Naya Rivera About Son Josey One Year After She Was Laid to Rest
View Story"You would've been XXXV," he added, before concluding, "Able to finally look at a couple videos today, I guess you can say I'm doing better…but better is just a better word for forever sad, this shit is unbelievable forever."
Rivera's former "Glee" costars Jenna Ushkowitz, Kevin McHale and Amber Riley all left heart-filled comments on the post, which marked the second birthday of Naya's since her death in 2020.
Rivera died tragically on July 8, 2020 in a boating accident while swimming with then-four-year-old Josey. He was found alone on the boat, with authorities believing her last act was to save his life. Her body was found five days later. She was 33.
Naya Rivera's Mom Recalls Last Conversation with Late Actress One Year After Her Death
View StoryEarlier this week, Naya's sister Nickayla also opened up about the actress' death and how it impacted her own life.
"In July of 2020, my sister Naya passed away. And when that happened, I was in complete shock. My whole family was in complete shock," she said in a video shared to her YouTube page. "It was like someone pulled the rug from under us and we didn't see it coming. The dark place that I was in before only progressed when that happened."
"At that time, I had no thoughts of my future. I had no thoughts of myself really. I was only just experiencing pain," she continued. "I realized that the pain that I was experiencing wasn't going to go anywhere until I decided to find the good in this world. So, from then on, I went on this journey of discovering who I was."
Nickayla said she quit vaping, picked up journaling and started going to therapy, which all helped her find a new appreciation for life.
"I started asking myself the tough questions of, what's stopping me from being myself? What past hurt am I still holding onto? And why am I not living like every day is a gift?" she said. "Because it is. When I started answering all those questions honestly to myself ... I found myself. I can say that I am a completely changed person."