"What kept me feeling safe and grounded was my marriage, so not feeling like I had that either, all at the same time, is a lot," Richards admitted through tears, after a very emotional therapy session.
Kyle Richards is doing her best to keep her head above water amid a string of personal losses over the past year.
On Wednesday's new hour of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, viewers watched the reality star invite a therapist and life coach, Jamie, to her home for an on-camera therapy session. The visit came after some of Kyle's costars have noticed a shift in her behavior -- including a health kick and cutting out all alcohol -- as well as Richards' own admission that things have been tough lately in her marriage to Mauricio Umansky.
She's also been dealing with her rollercoaster relationship with sister Kathy Hilton, as well as her private grief following the death of one of her very best friends.
During the therapy session, it was Kathy who came up first, as Kyle opened up more about the divide between them after all of last season's drama on the show.
"The family stuff with like my sisters always affects me really, really intensely. I had an issue with my older sister Kathy ... we're not speaking again. But that's been happening for 10 years," she said after being asked what was currently "triggering" her. "I just felt like every time there was something that should be perceived as, 'That's amazing, I'm proud of you,' there's never any of that."
After bringing up their other past issues involving The Agency -- which Mauricio started after leaving Rick Hilton's real estate company -- and Kyle's American Woman TV show, which concerned Kathy as it was loosely inspired by their childhood -- her therapist told her she shouldn't feel like she's "in the dog house all the time."
He added that just because someone is family, doesn't mean you're obligated to keep a relationship with them if it's no longer "healthy."
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View StoryRichards then opened up about the death of "my very, very, very best friend in my whole life," Lorene Shea, who took her own life back in May.
"Lorene was my other half ... I met Lorene in the second grade and we had been best friends ever since. She's definitely the most important person in my life outside of my family, who knows more about me than anyone else, including my husband," she explained in a confessional. "To lose someone like that who's like a constant in your life, never had a a falling out with her, she'd be the person I'd talk to about my sisters. I never imaged something like this could have happened, never."
To her therapist, she added, "I don't know what happened. She was so together. I don't have answers, it's so frustrating to me."
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View StoryWhen he asked what she needed in her life to "feel safe" right now, Richards said she was "doing all the things" to make that happen. "I'm just trying to surround myself with people I love and support me, taking care of my body and try to do all the things that are going to make me feel stronger. It's been working," she shared.
In a confessional, however, she was overcome with emotion as she revealed how everything happening at once really affected her.
"Losing my best friend and what happened with my sister felt like another loss," she said, in tears. "What kept me feeling safe and grounded was my marriage, so not feeling like I had that either, all at the same time, is a lot."
Just last week, a fan account theorized all the changes in Kyle's behavior on the show were all coping mechanisms following her friend's death.
"Everyone knew I was dealing with this. For whatever reason, it wasn't shown on camera YET. This will be addressed very soon," Richards wrote, after sharing the theory to her own page.
She added, "However, I do believe Moe tried to be there for me. Although, I'm not sure anyone knew exactly how to be."
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Wednesdays on Bravo.
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression or has had thoughts of harming themselves or taking their own life, get help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) provides 24/7, free, confidential support for people in distress.