![](https://images.toofab.com/image/33/4by3/2024/07/31/33b1c437291d4ef6afaceae98973a1bf_md.jpg)
The former "tradwife," who lived the life before it was a trend, says she "hears the sadness" in some of the most popular "tradwife" content and creators as they chase this "perfect" ideal.
"You can never reach perfection in the tradwife life," says TikToker Enitza Templeton. "You just keep going deeper and deeper down rabbit holes. I feel like it's just to keep you busy and keep your wheels spinning."
"Tradwife" is a shortened form of "traditional wife," and it's a moniker ascribed to women who are homemakers while their husbands provide the household income. They stay at home to raise the kids, keep the house and do things like raise their own food and make things from scratch as part of that lifestyle aesthetic.
![](https://images.toofab.com/image/62/5by4/2024/06/21/62b5bb15aea04266bee7fb646c86ea0c_xs.jpg)
Wife Accused of Having 'One Foot Out the Door' of Marriage After Revealing 'Contingency Plan'
View StoryTempleton, a mother of four, lived that life for a decade so she definitely knows what she's talking about, even though she rejects the "tradwife" moniker for herself. She acknowledged in a new People story that she recognizes a lot of her former life in the most popular content created in the world of this growing trend, which deeply concerns her for the women in them.
On Wednesday morning, Templeton jumped onto her Instagram Stories to marvel at how quickly her story went wide, and express her appreciation for the platform it's giving her to speak out against this trend.
"I'm glad that I get to be an anti-voice for that f--king tradwife bulls--t because it is all motherf--king bulls--t. Straight bulls--t," she said in her passionate video. "That s--t-- That s--t is not as fun as it f--king-- it doesn't even look fun! And it's not fun."
Impossible 'Tradwife' Expectations
In the article, Templeton talks about the slow realization that the "tradwife" existence she'd been living for a decade wasn't what she wanted for herself, and it certainly wasn't what she wanted for her daughters.
"I remember watching TV, folding the towels thinking, 'I wish anybody could help me out of this. If I had the money, if I had the means, if I had some way, I would not be married. I hate this. I don't want my daughters to be in a marriage like this,'" she recalled to the outlet.
"If I want my daughters to do any different, I'm going to have to show them different," she realized. And it was from there she began to change her life until she eventually left her marriage.
Ahead of the curve, Templeton said she'd agreed to fall into those traditional stereotypes of husband and wife roles when she first got married in 2009. She even made the decision to walk away from it before the more recent "tradwife" trend started cropping up on TikTok.
As she sees these videos of homemakers making their food from scratch and homeschooling their children to chase some mythical ideal, Templeton said the whole mystique is a "little dangling carrot" that if you can do these things, you can become "this perfect trophy wife."
"It's this stupid, stupid, stupid goalpost that's always moving," she said. "You can never reach it because if you bake the bread, well, did you use fresh yeast? Oh. Well, did you mill the flour? Oh. Well, did you grow the wheat that you milled the flour? They can keep pushing it back."
![](https://images.toofab.com/image/bd/5by4/2024/07/30/bd0207c78c314b8ba0d0d102bca0a311_xs.jpg)
Ally Brooke Says Being 'Scarred' By X Factor Made Her Hesitant to Join Surreal Life (Exclusive)
View Story'Sadness' in 'Tradwife' Content
One example that Templeton references in her story -- and later Instagram Stories video -- is the popular couple behind Ballerina Farm, and "tradwife" Hannah Neeleman, featured in a profile for The Times of London. She and husband Daniel have 20 million followers across their platforms, with much of the content following Hannah's day-to-day life with their seven kids.
One story from the Neelemans touched Templeton in particular, and it's the story of Hannah's birthday gift from her husband. Hannah said in her unboxing video she was hoping for "tickets to Greece," before revealing an apron with pockets for eggs.
While she looked happy to receive the gift in the video, trying it on for her husband, Templeton says she can see through the veneer and can "hear the sadness" in the voices of these women. She also said it's hard to watch for these reasons.
You're not showing the full picture. There is a lot of ugliness behind the scenes.
"If Ballerina Farms was my daughter, if I saw her give up Juilliard to live on the farm, I would probably cry a little bit every day knowing that's what she did," Templeton said.
"It's super sad," Templeton told People of the efforts of these "tradwives" to portray this perfect life. "It's also a little bit disingenuous. I know what it's like. You're not showing the full picture. There is a lot of ugliness behind the scenes."
At the same time, she admitted she probably would have made "tradwife" content back in 2009 had social media been bigger. "Once I started to realize, 'Oh, I can go on social media and pretend like my life is beautiful,' I started out," she said, explaining her own early foray into social media showing off cakes she'd baked.
![](https://images.toofab.com/image/c7/5by4/2024/07/30/c7e294f704ba411999c092de65e36763_xs.jpg)
Why Texas Teen Says She Had 'No Choice' But to Abandon Newborn Baby In Dumpster: Police
View Story'Tradwife' Expectations
She also detailed the struggles, which she believes she shared with Ballerina Farms' Hannah, in keeping up with the expectation to keep having children, children that the "tradwives" are primarily responsible for raising and caring for.
Templeton's story included a child with Down syndrome, multiple open heart surgeries, and a miscarriage, but none of these things slowed down that expectation of being pregnant and having more babies and shouldering all of that responsibility.
On top of that, Templeton claims that in both of their stories, epidurals were only offered by their midwives when their husbands were out of the room. Otherwise, they were expected to endure natural childbirth as part of their traditional role.
"When you're pouring into that person, you don't get anything back," Templeton said of "tradwife" husbands. "They just keep taking."
Now, Templeton is hoping to use her social media presence and Emerging Motherhood podcast as a "lifeline" for any other women feeling trapped in the "tradwife" lifestyle to know there is a way out.
"I was not raised to believe that women had a right to think and a right to ask questions. I thought if a woman didn't have a child, she was going to be miserable for her whole life," she said. "I did not understand there were women that were just happy to just live and be themselves."
If you or someone you know needs help with mental health text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.