A man is seeking relationship advice on Reddit in more than one place ... and about two very, very different demands his girlfriend of one year is placing on him.
Reddit is good for all sorts of things, though one of the most popular places people like to explore is its infamous AITA ("Am I the A--hole") forum. That's where one man sought advice after his girlfriend made an unexpected demand after they moved in together.
But it turns out he didn't stop there. Using the same anonymous automatically-generated name, OP (a.k.a. the "Original Poster") reached out on the "Advice" forum as well with yet another question, seemingly about a much bigger demand.
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View StoryBoth requests came within 24 hours of one another, meaning this man is definitely feeling a lot of things and questioning his new living arrangement. And if he's out there using other anonymous names, he could be all over Reddit with even more!
For now, read on to find out the two completely different girlfriend demands he's currently dealing with, and how Reddit suggested he carry on.
A Man's Throne Is His Castle?
Men and women are very different in many different ways, and one of the longest debates in households for ages has been about the toilet seat. Most men prefer to urinate standing up, while women sit. But this isn't a seat-up v. seat-down debate.
OP shared that he, 24, and his girlfriend, 23, recently moved in together. "Everything about living together and the living situation has been great, expect when we got into an argument a few days ago about something which I find quite bizarre," he wrote, kicking off his story.
"She pulled me aside as I was getting ready for bed a few days ago and had a conversation with me, telling me that I needed to stop peeing standing up," he then stated. "She told me it was gross and that she didn’t want to be stepping all over my waste when she went to the bathroom."
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View StoryOP explained they share a 1 bedroom, 1 bath apartment. He also wrote, "I wholeheartedly sympathize with women who have to deal with asshole men who act like slobs in the bathroom." He said he "would understand" his girlfriend in this instance, but ...
"I did none of this," he wrote. "No urine got on the seat, floor or anywhere near it, no smell remained in the bathroom, and I always left the lid down to flush anyway for hygiene."
He explained this to her, but it didn't seem to matter, with OP stating his girlfriend just keeps reiterating that peeing standing up is "gross" and he should stop. "Now really this is my home too we are splitting the rent," he argued, "and I think I have every right to piss standing up in my own home and think its ridiculous."
So his first question for Redditors was, "AITA for refusing my girlfriends request of peeing sitting down in our home."
Hill to Die (Standing) On?
The first question OP got was someone being skeptical, asking how she'd even know if he was as clean as he professed, to which OP replied, "Uhm TMI warning on this one. She's seen me go several times, wether its on accident or were both getting ready for work in the same bathroom."
The commenter than told OP that regardless of their cleanup, "pee particles are going to splatter," noting, "She might just be a clean person in general and doesn't want even a tiny amount of pee residue where she goes. I think that's valid."
They went on to say they're "not sure why you'd choose to do this standing when you could sit at home." There was plenty of consensus about this, as well as testaments that regardless of closing a toilet, particles can still escape as they're not air tight.
You don't got some magical penis that makes perfect splashless streams
This was the top-rated comment thread, too, with more than 12k upvotes, so OP wasn't finding a lot of support. "I'll pee standing up in public restrooms, especially if I'm in a rush or there's a line but, when I'm at home, I sit down and relax," commented another Redditor.
Many wives lamented the clean-up after their husbands peed standing up, talking about the minor splashing that still happens, with one suggesting to OP, "Pee standing up with shorts and no shoes on. See if you feel any getting on you."
OP even got pushback from multiple men who'd had to share a small prison cell with another man, who started sitting to urinate for the same cleanliness reasons, with one noting, "A small apartment like yours is more analogous to that cell than you might realize."
There were a lot of people arguing a false equivalency to standing while peeing and a perceived sense of manliness, with one person praising the previous commenter, "Omg. A man secure enough in his own skin to sit to pee."
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View StoryHusbands joined in, as well, with many saying that they'd chosen to sit for all the reasons OP's wife outlined, as well as all the other people in this thread. "You don't got some magical penis that makes perfect splashless streams," one commenter tried to argue.
Still, it wasn't a full pile-on, with one Redditor arguing for the stand, writing, "I personally think it's more work to sit down to pee rather than stand, aim, and go." Another wrote, "Not understanding why this is so complicated. Fine stand to pee. Pee from a rope hanging from the ceiling. Do bathroom parkour when you pee. But clean up after yourself. Is anyone else confused here???"
There was also some concern about OP's perceived reaction to this. One Redditor commented, "'I HAVE RIGHTS IN MY HOME!' Red flag if someone reacting like this to something this simple."
"Really? This is the hill you’ll die on?" asked one commenter, while another asked, "Is your ego more important or her feelings?" One put it bluntly for OP, writing, "you can decide between peeing while standing or keeping your gf because if she is being grossed out to go to the toilet in her own home, she won't be stay there for long."
OP pushed back at a lot of these comments, telling commenters that they take turns with the household chores, so he does help keep the bathroom clean.
Pee from a rope hanging from the ceiling. Do bathroom parkour when you pee. But clean up after yourself
As for why he's resisting sitting, he wrote that he's tried it and prefers to stand "because it's just uncomfortable for me to sit down only to piss and have to push it down. It feels much more relieving and free when you just stand up."
As he continued to find zero support in the forum, though, OP started to reveal that there may be a lot more going on here in this relationship than just an argument about bathroom habits now that they're cohabitating.
To one he admitted he feels this argument "goes a lot deeper than her wanting me to use the bathroom sitting down." But he wasn't going to get into it, with Redditors saying he's not going to get a completely satisfying answer here.
"I just want is my bodily autonomy in my home, and it feels quite degrading that now I can't even have that," he lamented. In his final response, OP broke down and said he's "sick of having my life micromanaged and controlled and this is something as little and private as taking a piss. It just feels invasive."
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View StorySo It's Not About the Pee?
While he wasn't getting much sympathy on that particular "hill to die on," eagle-eyed Redditors might have noticed that he did open up about a much, much bigger issue in the relationship that he's dealing with on another forum about 10 hours after that final comment.
It's certainly possible that this situation is affecting how he reacted to the bathroom one.
Writing in the general "Advice" forum under the same ID, OP shared that he works as a fitness instructor in a local gym and has for the past two years. "I love my job it allows me to do what I feel passionate about everyday and make a living out of it."
Here, he again noted that he and his girlfriend moved into a new place together after about a year of dating. But this is where he turned out to be talking about a much, much bigger issue.
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View Story"I know she has been cheated on 2 times before by her ex, and I do really feel sorry for her and what to make sure she knows she can trust me," he wrote. "But around a month ago I noticed she would hang around the gym I worked at a lot."
He said he was all for this "as working out together would be great," but it didn't stop there. OP added that she started signing up for the classes he teaches and then started "acting jealous and being passive aggressive to any woman I talk to or give instructions on what to do."
"Then she hit me with it, she told me that it was time for me to make a change in my life and find a new career path," he wrote. "For the past few weeks she's been nagging about it and I really don't know what to do. I love her but I also want to progress in my job and career."
So he's asking this different forum what to do.
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Alas, Reddit isn't as big as OP might thing. "Is today marked in your calendar as 'bitch about my partner on the internet day,'" asked one Redditor.
The top comment also referenced his previous post: "Between this and your last post it sounds like neither you nor your girlfriend are happy in this relationship. You're young; break up and move on with your life."
But there were some offering advice, with most saying he certainly shouldn't give up his career based on what he wrote. "She needs to learn and accept that health, fitness, aerobics, etc is one of the biggest parts of your life and you love it," wrote one.
"If she can't trust you then she needs to possibly see a therapist or needs to be single so she can work on herself and her insecurities," wrote another." They also suggested a conversation where he offers assurance, but reiterated "she needs to work on her insecurities," and warned her getting aggressive with his clients "will cause a lot of problems for you as well and could possibly get you in trouble or fired."
Between this and your other post, honestly why are you even together?
"Even if you get another job there will be female colleagues. If she can't accept that and trust you, you should think about moving on. She needs to work on herself."
While there was consensus that OP should definitely not give up their job due to his girlfriend's insecurities, a lot of people couldn't help but connect this gripe to his previous one from earlier in that same day.
"Start by seeing sitting down because she asked?" joked one, while another wrote, "Between this and your other post, honestly why are you even together? Do you even like your girlfriend? Some of your comments make it seem as if your looking for excuses or validation to break up with her. Just do it and go on."
One Redditor either said OP is making all of this up, or they're "looking for every reason to not be in a relationship with this woman. Two s--tposts in a day only has a few outcomes."
What do you think he should do?