Justin Baldoni Recalls Being Sexually Traumatized by Ex-Girlfriend: 'Terrible, Terrible Relationship'

The director/actor appeared on Elizabeth Day's How to Fail podcast, where he revealed he struggled for years after what he described as a toxic relationship.

Baldoni said he met a "beautiful young woman" at an Abercrombie & Fitch while in college at Long Beach State. He said he fell "right into this relationship because I was trying to fill a hole and a void where I just didn't feel like I was enough."

"It was a very bad relationship, and I kind of contorted myself and my personality to be what she wanted," said the It Ends With Us star. "I had strong values and opinions and beliefs going in, and those were very easily manipulated and reshaped to the point where a few months in I completely lost any sense of self that I had left. And it got very emotionally abusive."

The 40-year-old star recalled that after experiencing "sexual trauma," he felt conflicted.

"[I] wrestled with that trauma for the rest of my life, because in my head, a man can't experience sexual trauma at the hands of a woman. It's also the way that society has kind of made me feel that, you know, it's only the other way around, when in reality it can happen."

The Jane the Virgin star -- who has previously spoken about his Bahá'í faith -- said that he was taken "advantage" of after sharing that he "was hoping to save myself for marriage, and that's as detailed as I'll get into the story."

"There are lines that can be crossed and take advantage of somebody and to be manipulated. But I told myself for 15 years after that that wasn't actually what happened and that I did want it and all of the things that women have been feeling and experiencing for a long time," said Baldoni.

The father of two said that the idea of "acknowledging that a woman could take advantage of me" became "too much to hold for many, many years."

He credited his therapist for helping him start his healing journey.

"One day my therapist asked me a very simple question. She said, 'Justin, you do a lot of work in this space: If a woman told you that story, what would you call it?' And that's when I broke," he said, adding that his "healing" began at that point.

"That relationship ended with cheating and infidelity. It was a terrible, terrible relationship," said Baldoni. "I left college, I moved to L.A., and it was actually thanks to that relationship ending that I ended up becoming an actor."

Baldoni married his wife Emily in 2013, and they share two kids, Maiya, 9, and Maxwell, 7.

During the interview, he also opened up about the struggles he had while filming It Ends With Us, a story that deals with the ramifications of domestic violence by a husband (Baldoni) toward a woman (played by Blake Lively).

Baldoni, who touted the importance of domestic violence awareness throughout the press tour and shared resources for those seeking help, did tell Day that he pushed for a trigger warning to be included in the film, but said the idea was shut down.

"I just didn't want to re-traumatize the majority of my audience which is why I was advocating for a trigger warning at the front and things like that," Baldoni explained. "But those are certain battles you can't always win."

How to Fail with Elizabeth Day is available wherever you get your podcasts.