Chelsea Handler Tears Up Recalling Moment She Left Her Longtime Agency: 'Conflict Is So Hard'

While appearing on the Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast to promote her new book, I'll Have What She's Having, Handler reflected on her career and why she made the tough decision to leave her longtime agency, despite "a few people" there who were "working hard for me."

"I know I made the right decision," she shared, feeling proud of herself for not "[cowering] away from an uncomfortable conversation" while breaking the news to her old agents face-to-face. While she called the move a "bummer," she added that she had to "take care of myself" while explaining that while she appreciated her agents, "some other parts of the agency were not really working in concert."

"One of my conversations with one of my agents was quite emotional, actually, because she and I had to have a personal experience a few years back, and that was very meaningful and a difficult time in her life, and it became emotional," Handler recalled before getting emotional herself. "Again, I got off the phone and I spoke to my other agent, who I had for many years, and I felt proud that I was able to face that moment. I felt proud that I was able to be an adult. I felt proud that we got emotional -- that connection. I'm getting emotional just talking about it."

She continued, "It is so meaningful. Because all you really want in life is to have an impact on people. That's what I want. I want people to feel impacted by me. I want people to feel better and to know that I'm your sister. And with that conversation with her -- that was really -- she reminded me that I was a good sister to her, and I had forgotten that."

While conflict is hard for so many, Handler said that standing up for yourself doesn't have to be contentious.

"You saying your peace or standing up for yourself doesn't have to be conflict, it can be easy," Handler maintained.

While Handler has very much branded herself an advocate for women, early on in her career she said it was actually women who attempted to block her career.

"All of the blockades that I experienced in the beginning of my career were by women, not by men," she recalled. "And I was like, 'What's going on?' I was threatening to them, and in turn they were trying to block my success, and tell me I didn't have the value that I believed I had. And I found that so confounding."

Handler, fresh off hosting the Critics Choice Awards continued, "And so when I started doing my show on Chelsea Lately, I had my own issues with people I worked with before where I wasn't gracious, maybe, or we had friction between us or we were competitive. But once I felt that directed at me, I made sure that I was never going to move forward professionally in that way."

So once Handler got Chelsea Lately, she was determined to share the wealth with as many people as possible.

"I was like, I'm going to share the spotlight with as many women, gay men, marginalized communities, I want people of color -- everyone was gonna be part of my playground, because I didn't want anyone to ever experience what I experienced," she added  of the E! series. "I'm going to come welcome you here on this show and share this with everyone and that became that show. And that's why that show was successful, it was inclusive, not exclusive."

Handler hosted Chelsea Lately on 2007 to 2014 and released a documentary series, Chelsea Does, on Netflix in January 2016.

Since then, she's released a series of standup specials and books, amassing great success -- something she said she earned by using the success of others as a motivation for her own.

"Blowing out someone else's candle doesn't make yours brighter. That's not a real thing," Handler said. "And it's hard in the world we live in -- I am a victim of this too, where I look at someone's success who has succeeded beyond mine, and been like, 'Oh, I wish I had done that.' And it's a constant reminder that that is not your path. You're on your path."

She continued, "If anything, use that as a motivator. Change that drum beat in your head that, 'Ooh, I don't like that.' 'They got that.' Change that drum beat like, 'Yeah, that success -- one more woman succeeding means more success for all of us."

Check out Handler's full interview with Kern Lima here.