And we thought this was "Celebrity Big Brother." It's starting to look like "Celebrity Big Gossip," and we could watch it all day every day! Can we already agree to do this again next winter, CBS, and maybe let us pick the celebrities? That way we can fill the house with people we want to know more about. We hear Jennifer Aniston is available!
We're going to run this season like you'd run a department store. Each product, or celebrity, may have come in with equal value, but pretty quickly you start to see that certain ones aren't working. First, you try discounting them to see if they can turn things around and become solid performers again. But if that doesn't work, it's time to put them on clearance so you can sell them out (the door). With that said, let's take a look at our inventory, ranked from our strongest performer to our weakest ... after we spotlight some wonderful items in stock.
SPOTLIGHT ITEM: The Trump White House
"Did you ever sleep with him?" Brandi asked Omarosa in the middle of a conversation about something else entirely. That's our girl! It was so abrupt, Omarosa had no idea who she was talking about, so she asked. "Trump," Brandi clarified to the delight and horror of the room. "God, that is disgusting," Omarosa finally said about the very notion.
Brandi brought it up because, as she said, "I've been told when I was on 'Apprentice' that a few girls prior to my season [did]." Because Trump admired Omarosa so much, she figured it was at least possible. Omarosa shut that theory down right quick, but she did add, "There is somebody in the White House sleeping with everybody, but she is not me." Junior slueths, get on the case!
Omarosa also described briefing prep with Sean Spicer as a "special form of torture." She said, "The funniest thing was trying to teach him how to pronounce words."
For anyone holding out hope for a Trump impeachment, Omarosa doesn't think it's in the cards. "You wouldn't be this far into the administration if there was something that rose to the level of impeachment. That's my two cents." She did figure that more people have quit and been fired, and that there is likely more scandal since they went into the "Big Brother" house. She's definitely right about that, but that kind of falls into the "duh" category at this point.
Here you'll find Brandi Glanville, sipping from a glass and sounding off about her housemates, her life, whatever she wants. This week, everyone got messages from home, but Brandi's message wasn't from anyone in her family, it was from Andy Cohen?! He was very nice and supportive, but this kind of made us feel sad for her. Did Eddie Cibrian nix their kids from participating?
She's playing a strong game, and still giving us gems like, "I get grossed out really easy. I'm just not putting any weird foreign thing in my mouth ... unless I can see it." Okay, then.
She continued her crusade against James Maslow, even as she was the one who decided to try and work with him. Don't worry, she beat herself up for it. "I don't trust James as far as I can throw him -- and I might be able to actually throw him because he's a tiny human being," she said.
At another point, she said she enjoyed having him nominated for eviction. "Having James on the block is very entertaining for me because it knocks his ego down a bit and he needs that a lot." She's not wrong. He preens for the camera more than a peacock during mating season.
Ross Mathews ("Chelsea Lately") and Marissa Jaret Winokur ("Hairspray") continue to run this game flawlessly, and yet no one seems them as serious contenders or threats just yet. That could still change, and the next Head of Household will be very telling as to their long-term viability, but they're now working with half of the house and could probably convince at least a few of the remaining Houseguests to side with them as well. They did what Shannon Elizabeth couldn't; they're smart and savvy, but have been flying mostly under the radar with it.
Ariadna Guttierez (almost Miss Universe) and Brandi Glanville ("The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills") are the other power couple in the house, and right now this top foursome is steering the ship. They've got all the influence they need, Ariadna proved they're not afraid to make big, aggressive moves, and yet they all remain likable. If the other four don't find a way to break this up, or band together and win, this is your Final Four.
Metta World Peace (NBA) is finally playing the game, but he has no alliances or real strategy. It's not entirely his fault, as he has no idea how the game works, but flying solo just means you're easier to pick off. At least, after making friends with a stuffed owl, his head is in the game and his competitive spirit is lit. Add to that the fact that absolutely everyone adores him, and if he does somehow crack the top, he's got a good shot at this.
Mark McGrath (Sugar Ray) went on the nomination block for the first time after James took himself off with the Power of Veto. He implied that this has awakened him as well into playing this game, but at the same time, his floater strategy is kind of working. At least, it's doing a good job of getting him into the middle of the game. It is time to start playing and making alliances, though.
Omarosa Manigault ("The Apprentice") will be a target for as long as she stays in the game, but she's also not seen as a physical threat, so they may mistakenly keep her around too long. A late-game run could flip the house again after a fairly straight-forward eviction process this time around. Her constant lying and manipulating is hurting her, though, because everyone is running around and fact-checking her. She denies and denies, but her credibility in the house is shot. It's all "fake news" to everyone else.
James Maslow ("Big Time Rush") is a free agent, but he's also a competition beast and a terrifying presence in the house for that reason. His youthful arrogance isn't helping him with this middle-aged group, either. He wasn't the target this time around, but he won the Veto competition, proving once again what a beast he is. As soon as they have a clear shot at him, they just might have to take it.
Shannon Elizabeth ("American Pie") was probably the biggest fan coming into the house, but she absolutely showed her hands too soon by dominating the first two competitions. She didn't win again after that, but the damage was done. Just talking to her showed how brilliant and strategic her mind was. She gets the game, and even if Omarosa, Ross and Marissa get the game, too, none of them are ALSO competition beasts. She played too big and too bold, and with too open of a trusting heart. But hey, she got to pitch her work with endangered animals in her save-me speech and with Julie Chen after.
"Ari, you're telling me I'm safe and that is just lovely to hear, but do you know what would have been far more clear is not putting me on the block?" James (not buying Ariadna's claims that he's not the target)
"Can you not be in here for this?" Shannon (talking to Omarosa)
"You don't dismiss me. I'll not be dismissed." Omarosa (not having it)
"Come on, Shannon. We're all rooting for you ... but not really." Mark (in a confessional)
"This is the game you love." Marissa (to Shannon after her nomination)
"I don't love it anymore. After this I won't be able to watch it." Shannon (upset about being nominated)
"Brandi! You cannot ask that question ... but I'd really like to know the answer." Ross (after Brandi asked if Omarosa had slept with Trump)
"She is the biggest threat in 'Big Brother' history. She spelled 'responsibilities,' a 16-letter word!" Ross (referring to Shannon dominating a previous spelling challenge)
"Metta World Peace is having a showmance with an owl. Honestly, I believe that Metta needs this owl. It's a human pacifier." Brandi (she said it all)
"For starters, this is gorgeous. Can we talk for two minutes?" Ross (to Ariadna, distracted by her outfit before talking game)
"If you do evict me, there's a question that'll be haunting you at night, late at night in the recesses of your mind. That question is: who is going to do the dishes and the towels tomorrow?" Mark (during his save-me speech)
"Usually a 13-letter word wins this. How was I supposed to know they could only do four-letter words." Shannon (talking to Julie about the spelling competition after her eviction)
"I don't want to fall during the live show." Marissa (as the live Head of Household competition kicked off to close the night ... and she didn't! We're proud of you)
"Big Brother: Celebrity Edition" is on all the damned time! Upcoming installments in the next week air on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 8 p.m. ET.