Trump spoke about everything from "fake news CNN" to "the enemies and the haters," saying things like, "People say, 'You're still lookin' good, Mr. President!'" and "There is no collusion with me and Russia!" and "I got 306 [electoral college votes], and she got, what, 223?" -- seemingly, without taking a breath.
Noah likened Trump's call-in to a grandfather calling his grandchildren to tell them the same story over and over again, despite the grandchildren trying to get him off the phone. The resemblance is uncanny.
In fact, no jokes were needed. The interview and Fox News star Brian Kilmeade's face said it all.
At one point during Trump's rant, he was asked to grade his presidency. Naturally, he gave himself "an A+," which shocked Corden.
"An A+? From where? Trump University?" he joked.
Trump's "Fox & Friends" interview happened to land on wife Melania's birthday, and when the hosts asked Trump what he got her, this was his response: "Well, I better not get into that 'cause I may get in trouble. Maybe I didn't get her so much. I'll tell you what, she has done -- I got her a beautiful card. You know, I'm very busy to be running out looking for presents, OK?"
"This is the question he doesn't lie about?" Corden asked rhetorically. "Just lie about that one! We don't care! We're fine with you lying about that! Trump said he's too busy to give a birthday present to his wife. I mean, how much effort does it take just to leave the back door open and say, 'You're free, Melania!'"
Corden also poked fun at Trump's incessant use of the word "business" when discussing his lawyer, Michael Cohen.
The NBA late-night host described the interview as a "truly crazy rant" during his "Closer Look" segment.
"Trump rambled on for so long about so many random topics that, at one point, the 'Fox & Friends' hosts said they were the ones who were running out of time," Meyers said. "Wow. That was the first time in history that a TV show had to change its phone number because of a stalker."
"And if you're wondering how much of the 30 minutes was spent with Trump talking, it came out to about 30 minutes," Meyers added, pointing out the look of boredom on the hosts' faces. "Those are the expressions of people thinking, 'What have we done?!' That's the way scientists who test zombie viruses on monkeys look when they see the cages open and the monkey is gone."
While digging into the biggest revelation -- Trump admitting his personal attorney, Michael Cohen, represented him on this "crazy Stormy Daniels' deal" -- Meyers was stunned by the president's slip.
"You have 'so many attorneys' and not one of them told you to keep your mouth shut?" Meyers joked. "Which one of them told you it was a good idea to call a TV show on 3 hours sleep."
Fallon literally LOLed when he played his audience a clip of Trump rage rambling on "Fox & Friends," then joked, "That's what the guy at the drive through has to deal with every single morning."
The comedian also couldn't resist pointing out Trump's lackluster birthday gift to his wife, which the president described as "a beautiful card" during the Fox News broadcast.
Fallon cringed and whipped out his Trump impression to joke, "And I admit it was a business card, but still, she loved it."
"I want to say happy birthday to Melania Trump," Fallon said. "Melania made a wish, blew out her candles, opened her eyes and said, 'Oh crap, he's still here.'"
Much like TooFab, the "Tonight Show" also decided to honor Melania's 48th birthday Thursday by highlighting some of her most awkward moments with her husband since she became first lady. Enjoy the mashup of Trump singing "Happy Birthday" and his wife expertly evading his touch at every opportunity in the video above.
"The interview started strong, but then the president started talking," Colbert joked at the start of his monologue, which quickly took Trump to task for giving his wife such a lousy birthday gift.
"You're a billionaire," he said. "Do you know what she puts up with? I Think she's earned a shopping spree. I'm gonna say around a $130,000 worth."
The CBS star got an uproarious laugh from his audience after playing a clip of Trump giving himself "an A+" as president. "Nobody has done what I've been able to do, and I've done it despite the fact that I have a phony cloud over my head that doesn't exist," Trump said while praising himself.
"Sir, that's not a phony cloud, that's your hair," Colbert joked, and then called the interview "insane."
Colbert concluded by observing how the "Fox & Friends" hosts got Trump off the phone like they would "an annoying relative" and mocked Steve Doocy's summation of the interview: "I think he was awake and had a lot to say."
"What a rave review. 'He was conscious and boy, making sound with the old face hole,'" Colbert joked. "But in their defense, but the 'Fox & Friends' had to rush the leader of the free world off the phone to get to their actual next news segment, Buck's famous scrambled eggs! The secret ingredient is changing the subject."