"Lisa being drunk right now is such a huge compliment," Sandoval gushes to the camera.
And it was amazing.
During the new hour, Lisa, Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz scrambled to make sure their new West Hollywood bar -- TomTom -- would be ready in time for a big party they were contractually committed to throwing. They managed to cross every T and dot every I before guests made their way inside, where the happy tears were flowin'.
Tears were flowing for Kristen Doute, too, only they weren't so happy. At the very last minute, Schwartz let her know that they were "over capacity" and that Lisa was "adamant" she not show up. Lisa made an exception for her other troublemakers -- Jax Taylor and James Kennedy -- because it was Jax's birthday, and because it was an opportunity for James to soberly DJ an event at someplace other than SUR.
Toward the end of the evening, the Toms found Lisa sitting at a booth, doing that head bob we all know quite well. "Are you smashed?!" Schwartz asked with delight. LVP looked up at him with glazed eyes and said, "No, not at all!"
(Cue footage of Lisa downing pink martinis just hours before, going, "Why are they so strong?")
When Sandoval asked Lisa if she had had a good time, she let out the cutest, "I did!" and smiled big. The boys were over the moon.
"You did?!" Sandoval said as he leaned in for a hug. "Look at how cute you are!"
He later told the camera, "Lisa being drunk right now is such a huge compliment. She feels Schwartz and I are capable of handling this environment enough for her to get drunk!"
"Lisa, I just wanna say I love you," Schwartzy added. "Not in a -- I just have so much respect for you. I don't wanna get too sentimental. I mean, I'm just so happy to be part of your world. You're a huge inspiration to us."
Lisa smiled as she leaned in and said, "This is a starting point for you guys. This is the starting point for you to jump off." Subtitles came up as she continued to mumble, "The next 10 days is where the hard work starts. This is where the training comes in and everything. If you give me anything less than 100 percent..."
"We're gonna give 5 percent each," Schwartz joked. (He and Sando are only 5 percent owners of the bar.)
A sober Lisa later praised her boys, telling the camera, "I'm so happy for Tom and Tom because everything's come to fruition, and they're really embracing it. This is exactly the vision that I had for them."
Other noteworthy things that happened Monday night:
Jax got insanely emotional about turning 39 -- not because of the number, but because it was his first birthday not receiving a phone call from his father. He also didn't receive a phone call from his mother, who he's been feuding with over differences regarding how she handled his father's cancer.
Lala Kent went for coffee with Scheana Marie, who vented about how she can't seem to get back in good graces with Stassi Schroeder, Katie Maloney and Kristen (otherwise known as the Wicked Witches of WeHo). Lala sorta-kinda tried to let Scheana know that not everyone wants to hear about the men she's sleeping with and/or dating 24/7. Who knows if it'll register.
James also got into it with girlfriend Raquel Leviss because she caught him trying to write an apology letter to Lala's fiancé, Randall Emmett, because he's repeatedly called him a "big, fat man." Raquel got upset because she felt James was putting Lala's feeling before hers, so he crumpled up the note and said to hell with the apology.
"Vanderpump Rules" airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.