Late Night Hosts Trash Trump's State of the Union: It 'Was Like Watching Paint Lie'

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"What it lacked in quality it made up in length," cracked Colbert.

Donald Trump's 80-minute State of the Union address on Tuesday night provided late night hosts with plenty of last-minute cannon fodder for their monologues.

Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, James Corden and Trevor Noah all unloaded on POTUS' speech shortly after it aired across almost all the major networks last night, joking about both its length and contents in each of their shows.

Calling it Trump's "second and final" address, Kimmel said Trump "spoke for so long, Robert Mueller handed down another 5 indictments." Of its run time, Colbert added, "This was not a particularly great speech. But what it lacked in quality it made up in length. This speech was like watching paint lie."

"Trump ended up giving an hour long televised speech on Chinese New Year, which is a perfect way to kick off the Year of the Pig," Corden also cracked at the top of his show.

Addressing the president's obsession with the border wall, Kimmel joked, "Trump talked more about fighting aliens tonight than Sigourney Weaver." Meyers also addressed the subject, saying Trump should actually be "happy" nobody built a wall before him -- "What would people shout at your rallies, 'Maintain the previously erected wall?'"

"The real theme of his speech was that we're all gonna die, Mexican style," joked Noah over on Comedy Central. "Seriously, this part of the speech was so scary he should have just been doing it with a flashlight under his chin."

Of Trump saying the US economy is the "hottest" in the world, Colbert referenced one of Donald's infamous comments about daughter Ivanka. "It is so hot, if it wasn't my economy, perhaps I'd be dating it," he joked, imitating Trump's voice.

Meyers also pointed out Trump celebrating all the women in Congress -- many of them Democrats who were voted into office during midterm elections. "I love that Trump was taking credit for that," said Meyers. "'The only reason you got elected was because everyone hates me!'"

Other choice burns of the night:

  • Kimmel on Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi: "They sat there like mom and dad the first Thanksgiving after the divorce."

  • Fallon on Speaker of the House: "I want to wish a speedy recovery to Nancy Pelosi, who is recovering from biting her tongue all night."

  • Fallon on Tiffany Trump: "Even Trump's daughter Tiffany wore white. The president was shocked, he was like, I can't believe she was invited."

  • Fallon on Jared Kushner: "It's nice to see the Elf on the Shelf found a job in the off season."

  • Meyers on POTUS' uneven tie: "Trump is so unpopular, even his tie has moved to the left."

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