Jennifer Aydin invited all the ladies -- including group outsider Danielle Staub -- to her lavish, 16-bathroom home to celebrate her and her plastic surgeon husband's 16th wedding anniversary. Coincidence? Probably.
The theme was all-red everything, and everyone came dressed to the nines. Danielle was nice and cordial with everyone, but she mostly kept to hanging with Teresa Giudice, her only real friend in the group. Since Danielle's falling out with Margaret Josephs, Danielle's made it her mission to convince Teresa that Margaret is a terrible person. In the words of Melissa Gorga, "Teresa's not a very good judge of character," so she drank Danielle's Kool-Aid.
Elsewhere, Joe Gorga successfully convinced Margaret's husband, Joe Benigno (this group has too many Joes), to make amends with Danielle's now-estranged husband, Marty Caffrey. What ended up happening was reality TV gold.
(For the sake of the rest of this story, we're going to call Joe Gorga Gorga and Joe Benigno Joe. We thank you for your cooperation.)
So the Joes found Marty and asked him if he'd be willing to step outside to "discuss life." Marty agreed to go. Throughout the season, Joe and Marty have gotten into almost-physical altercations numerous times. Gorga has had to step in on a few different occasions to make sure hands didn't fly, and although he was there Wednesday night, there was no stopping Joe and Margaret.
The tension between Joe and Marty originally stemmed from their wives' falling out, but their beef wound up growing a life of its own when Marty told Joe that Margaret was "jealous" of Danielle and that "Margaret doesn't wanna walk into a room with Danielle because nobody will look at Margaret."
What happened Wednesday was not dissimilar. Marty accused Joe of painting Danielle in a bad light when they were all in the Bahamas for their wedding. (Joe jokingly -- but not really -- warned Marty that Danielle would spend all of his money.) Joe maintained he was simply "busting his balls."
"You were out of line. You should apologize," Marty demanded, which Joe met with, "No f--king way. You have to apologize for calling my wife all kinds of shit."
"You wanna talk shit?" Marty replied as his voice got louder. "You're a f--king jealous motherf--ker. You wish you were me!"
A crowd started to form outside by the pool, where the guys were talking/screaming.
"You keep staring at Danielle's tits because your wife doesn't have any!" Marty shouted. "She doesn't have the body Danielle has."
"Thank f--king God," Marty replied. Margaret unknowingly entered the fray when she went to go check on her husband. "What is going on?!" she asked.
Joe explained, "He said I'm jealous of Danielle because you have no body and no tits." Margaret's jaw unhinged as she looked at Marty, who simply said, "Yeah, I said that. And I'm gonna say that."
"What man would say that about somebody else's wife?" Margaret asked. Marty said he was simply "promoting the beauty" of his wife.
"By insulting another woman?" Margaret asked. A screaming match among the three broke out, and Joe wound up right in Marty's face.
"If you talk down to my wife..." Joe warned.
"If you touch me one more f--king time..." Marty replied.
"I'm willing to go after you right f--king now," Joe said sternly.
Marty shouted back, "When you go home tonight, she's gonna bitch slap you!" He turned his sights to Margaret and said, "You emasculate him every chance you..."
And just like that, Joe and Margaret snapped. They grabbed onto Marty's expensive-looking suit and shoved him into the pool. They left the party before Danielle even had the chance to rip them a new one. But rest assured she was livid, and we'll hopefully get to see the aftermath of the debacle next week.
"The Real Housewives of New Jersey" Season 9 reunion starts Wednesday, February 20 at 9 p.m. on Bravo.