"With my ex-husband, if I put the toilet paper on wrong, it was like I burnt the f--king house down," Denise dishes on her relationship with Charlie.
Cameras captured the former model, her now-husband Aaron Phypers and Denise's three daughters enjoying a weekend morning in their Malibu home.
"With my past -- doing 'Wild Things' and being provocative, being on lists of sexiest whatever -- it's not something that I thought of back then, like, 'Oh, one day when I have kids...'" Denise said during her first real confessional on the show. "I have two teenage daughters -- Sami and Lola -- and their father is Charlie Sheen. Their father and their mother were both nuts, so maybe they have a shot at being somewhat normal?"
"And then I have a daughter, Eloise. She's 7, and I adopted her when she was born as a single mom," she continued. "There was a rumor at one point that Eloise was Charlie's child with a hooker, and that's false."
Denise spent a few minutes gushing about Aaron, even calling him her "soulmate." She also compared their relationship to the one she had with Charlie well over a decade ago.
"With my ex-husband, if I put the toilet paper on wrong, it was like I burnt the f--king house down," she said. "So I'm grateful for my relationship with Aaron. A lot."
Sami, who's 14, was sitting at the kitchen table when Denise asked her when her school's homecoming was.
"I haven't gotten asked yet, if that's what you're wondering," Sami replied. Denise offered no pity; she simply reminded her daughter there's no dating until she's 16 -- and that includes going to homecoming with a boy.
"Now I want a boyfriend, because you told me I can't have one," Sami said defiantly. Denise replied, "Alright, let's see what dad says." Sami then called Charlie and put him on speaker.
"I have a question," Sami began. "If a guy asks me to go to the homecoming dance with him, am I allowed to say yes?"
"I'll trust your judgement if you think it's the right person to go with," Charlie replied before telling Sami he loved her and hanging up.
"Alright, whatever," Denise said. "I'm not mad, but I disagree."
Also interesting to note: Aaron was still technically married to his ex-wife at the time this episode was shot. (They had been separated for years. That's not the juicy part. Just you wait.) Turns out the woman is Nicollette Sheridan, who happens to be Harry Hamlin's ex-wife! they were married for 11 months.
Most of the ladies knew this, but Camille Grammer did not. (Admittedly, neither did we.) She was shocked to learn of the love triangle while the ladies were all at Rinna's house baking and bonding over their husbands/boyfriends.
"Harry was married to her 30 years ago," Rinna explained. "The story is, she went to a Michael Bolton concert at the Hollywood Bowl -- and left with Michael Bolton!" Erika Girardi was flabbergasted. "Is that really trued?!" she asked.
"F--k yes! Harry was in Canada!" Rinna replied. "I thank Michael Bolton to this day. Are you kidding me? Let's cheer to Michael Bolton! Thank you, Michael Bolton, because I would not have these beautiful children."
Naturally, the conversation took a raunchy turn, and the ladies began discussing their sex lives. Teddi Mellencamp-Arroyave admitted she and her husband do the deed twice a week but that she only puts it in the calendar "if it's a big night." Denise, on the other hand, can't get enough of her man. She said they fool around every night -- even if she's out of town! (God bless FaceTime.)
Lisa Vanderpump was absent from the event because she wasn't ready to put on a "happy face" after the passing of her brother. Ken Todd was being the understanding husband he's always been; however, he did urge his wife to attend Dorit Kemsley's trip to the Bahamas with all the girls.
LVP agreed, but not without taking a few jabs at Dorit once aboard their private jet!
We'll see how that plays out next week.
"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.
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