"SHUT THE F--K UP!" Sonja hurls across the table at Luann. "GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE!"
Sonja Morgan was in rare form on Wednesday's "Real Housewives of New York." Like, when we say we've never seen her like this, we mean we have never seen her like this. And for Sonja, that's saying a lot.
So the ladies jetted off to Miami for vacation and stayed at a spectacular mansion courtesy of Ramona Singer and Dorinda Medley. After the always unavoidable fight over who gets the best room (Ramona and Sonja ended up sharing the master), everyone got to drinking -- some more than others.
Sonja was a bit -- shall we say -- manic all episode? A still-sober Luann de Lesseps was the first to point it out, noting that when Sonja showed up unannounced to her cabaret rehearsal a few days prior, she was talking a mile a minute and could not keep her thoughts together. Lu mentioned to the other girls that she felt Sonja could be taking pills, but it sort of got brushed to the side, especially when Sonja denied she was doing anything other than drinking alcohol and being herself.
Back to Miami. So Sonja started chugging mojitos and screaming about how everyone steals her men (not untrue). She was particularly peeved at Luann for marrying (and then divorcing seven months later) Tom D'Agostino, who Sonja slept with first. She was also upset Ramona made out with Harry Dubin a few episodes back, a man Sonja was engaged to for four seconds ... and who also happens to be former co-star Aviva Drescher's ex-husband.
At one point, Sonja even started taking off her pants and told Tinsley Mortimer she wanted to pee in the only bathtub in the house. Thankfully, her attention span prevented that wish from coming true.
By this point, Dorinda had also been drinking quite a bit, waiting for the perfect moment to unleash on Luann. Sonja told Dorinda that when she crashed Luann's rehearsal, she noticed Lu taking several jabs at Dorinda during the performance. Dorin was furious, and when she approached Lu about it, Lu said she had the right to do and say whatever she wanted to at her cabaret show.
So now we have an off-the-rails and angry Dorinda feeding off a hammered and upset Sonja, both furious with Luann. And this is how the ladies sat down to have their first meal in Miami.
After saying Tom was Luann's "friends with benefits," Sonja asked the question she's perhaps been keeping to herself since Luann married him: "He was my lover! Why did you go there?!" Dorinda -- who actually played a part in introducing Tom to Lu -- agreed, saying Luann should have respected Sonja's past with the man.
"You sleep with anything!" Dorinda hurled at Lu. "I would never want you to sleep with anyone I ever dated!" Luann urged Dorinda not to get involved, which only fueled Dorin's fire.
"Don't tell me not to get involved! I'll get involved with whatever I want to!" she shouted, hands flailing. She told Luann to apologize to Sonja, and Luann told her not to tell her what to do.
Dorinda started turning red from all the yelling. Naturally, the comment Lu made to her about doing "whatever the hell" she wanted to at her show came up in conversation. While Dorinda was threatening legal action, Sonja was screaming at Luann, saying she asked her to lay off of Dorinda in the show's script.
"Luann, I have been your best advocate," Sonja managed to slur, and when Luann scoffed at the thought, Sonja lost her marbles. "Oh, really? Really?! You wanna start like that?! Maybe you wanna take it down a notch right now. I came to your rehearsal. You're a f--king diva!"
"I'm not a diva," Luann maintained. "Don't talk to me like that."
"SHUT THE F--K UP!" Sonja shouted across the table. "GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE! DON'T YOU TELL ME NOT TO TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT, BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT, I WILL TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT!" By this point, Luann had checked out. She got up from the table and went to her room. She was furious, especially because she was already struggling to maintain her sobriety being back in Florida after her 2017 arrest.
Meanwhile, Bethenny Frankel was upstairs getting ready because she had gotten there late. While she didn't necessarily agree with Sonja's delivery (she heard every word -- so did the rest of South Florida), she agreed with Sonja's message. With the exception of Barbara Kavovit -- who Bethenny dubbed Lu's "cabaret cult leader" -- everyone else did, too.
So Bethenny went over to talk to Luann. Walking into her room with a glass of wine and a mission, B said, "I'm here to talk. I'm not here to listen." And with that, she served it straight. She told Luann that Sonja had a point in what she was saying and that Lu had become insufferable about her cabaret obsession, but as usual, it fell on deaf ears.
After Bethenny said goodnight to Luann, she went back to join the ladies at the table. She wound up pulling out her most iconic line from Season 3 -- "GO TO SLEEP!!!" -- when she saw a wasted Sonja starting to nod off. Then somehow, some way, Sonja ended up falling forward and smacking her face on the table.
All we know is that this scene will be continued next week and that paramedics will be involved.
"The Real Housewives of New York" airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. on Bravo.
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