No career turn was left unburned, from Corden's disturbing "Cats" trailer to Goldblum's inexplicable Apartments.com ads.
There are good Drop the Mic installments on "The Late Late Show" and there are bad ones. And then, sometimes there are Drop the Mic segments that transcend the cheesy premise and become something magic. Sick burns, as Jeff Goldblum would say, find a way.
The venerable actor already came out with so much more chill and swagger than James Corden, it wasn't looking pretty from the get-go. Especially if that fired-up crowd was going to have any say in how things went ... and you know they do.
Goldblum is an American treasure and one of the sharpest minds in Hollywood, so Corden definitely had his work cut out for him if he wanted to cut this 6'5" genteel giant down to size.
Before they even got to the pre-scripted portions of the showdown, Goldblum gave Corden a taste of what he was capable of simply with his response to Corden asking if he was ready. "I'm so ready to eat your lunch and drink your milkshake. They're going to call you Cordon Bleu.
After a long breakdown of how many things he's willing to joke with Goldblum about, Corden told him, "If you ever joke about stealing my f--king lunch again, I will finish you."
From there it was an epic back-and-forth from both stars that took deep dives into their respective careers from Goldblum's early days starring in "The Fly" ("They thought, repulsive gross creature, I know just the guy") to Corden's recent turn in the "Cats" trailer ("How you look in real life is somehow more disturbing").
Below are some of the best lines from both of them, but it's honestly worth taking the time to see it all go down life ... if only to see all the added flair and physicality Goldblum gives to his delivery:
Corden Burns Goldblum
You're perfect for a movie where they need someone cheesy / And can use a Ted Danson who is much more creepy
When they first cast you as the lead in 'The Fly' / They thought, repulsive gross creature, I know just the guy
You're in a jazz band, isn't that right? / I'm amazed you found a way to make jazz more white
Some genie must have had one helluva gig / You look like Nick Kroll made a wish to be 'Big'
Your wife is a gymnast, that's for the best / Because finding you attractive must really be a stretch
The fact you're still popular is just crazy / And proof they'll bring back any s--t from the '80s
Goldblum Burns Corden
Seeing you as a cat was completely unnerving / But how you look in real life is somehow more disturbing
And you're a father, I'm shocked you get laid / But hey, I guess it's true, 'Life finds a way'
When you say I'm unattractive, it's obvious you're lying / You look like Andy Richter ate Conan O'Brien
You host the Tonys for actors who sing / Which is funny 'cause you suck at both those things
Crosswalk: The Musical makes you a star / Because people tune in to hope you're hit by car
I saw 'Ocean's 8' and that really was a switch / It starred eight awesome women and one giant bitch
Honestly, we didn't even need the audience to know who came out victorious in this one. That last line alone was worthy of the crown.
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